February 3, 2012 - 1:51am
This is the first time that i have posted onto one of these sites although i look at them probably every day to try and help me understand my condition. I feel so lonely and confused at the moment and thought that i should finally sign up and seek some support. I will tell you firstly a little bit about the background of my story. In September 2010 i was finally diagnosed with endometriosis after having a laproscopy, i had suffered for quite a few years before this but i found it hard to get someone to take me seriously enough and i was also scared of repeatedly returning to my GP to discuss my problems. After the laproscopy the surgeon spoke to me whilst i was in recovery and told me how i had severe endo and asked me what my plans for children was, i am 30 now and me and my partner had just started thinking about starting a family but due to the disease it was so hard to enjoy a healthy sex life and any kind of intercourse brought on a period no matter what so we was struggling already. The surgeon told me that i had one working tube and that it would be best for me to have a full hysterectomy eventually as it would be the only way to remove the endo. I was told that my bowel and my womb was all tightly packed flat together and was told to bring my plans for children forward. I went back a few days later to speak about treatment and i didnt like the sounds of any of it, for one i would have to stop my period and i didnt want to do that when i had just been told that i only have one tube working, i wanted to start to try for a baby straight away. One thing i am really confused about it why was none of my endo lasered away? i didnt know at the time but i have recently met someone who has it and she had all hers lasered, does anyone know why the surgeon didnt offer me anything but tablets? I just continued to deal with this horrible disease and every month trying to concieve and suffering, bloating, cronic pain, fatigue everyone knows the drill we dont half have to suffer, the thing is i always think that people dont understand what we are going through and think that we are just suffering normal period cramps like them and we should get on with it, the thing is i do, i try so hard to get on with it to continue with my full time job after being kept awake all night with cronic pains. I just dont think that people try to understand what we are going through or take it seriously, but i just paint a smile on my face and tackle each day as it comes, then when im alone i can cry so hard that it hurts, when the bloating starts i look 9 months pregnant and my clothes dont fit and if i have a night out planned with friends i wont feel like going and i will make up excuses, what i am trying to say is am i not alone in this? does everyone else feel the same?
I have been noticing blood from my anus a couple of times over the last year but was unsure which end it was from due to it only happening when i am on my period. I started to look closely into my stools and found blood, i was sick to the stomach you just start to think the worst i booked an appointment with my doctor and went in and discussed the symptoms with her. When i am on my period I had severe cramping in my anus i cant sit down on my backside without the shooting pains and cramps, i noticed that my cramps are mainly in the left side of my tummy and when i need to go to the toilet the pain is un real i have to take deep breaths in and out and then i will pass a malteaser sized stool and then i get after shock pains again very very painful, i only get this pain in my anus and the blood in my stools and pain on passing when i am on my period so i explained this to my GP and said that i think its connected to my endo. My GP replied its not connected to your endo they are two seperate things (im confused) i thought you could get endo on your bowel??? my GP thinks not, this really worried me because i thought if its not connected to my endo then what is it? do i have cancer? i have been so upset and confused over the last couple of weeks that i cant explain it. My GP referred me for a camera in my bowel i went along and i told the nurse my sypmtoms clearly i made sure she understood that i only get this when im on my period, she did the test and found some blood high up in my small bowel, thats the farest she could go with that camera so i have got to go back for the camera that goes further up into your colon a colonscopy, i felt terrible i felt sick i am thinking the worse am i going to die? the receptionist give me a appointment which was a month away i thought that was a long time to wait and then they rang me the day after to offer me an earlier appointment, that then made me think again that they have found something very serious and want to get me back in. I am struggling to cope with this and am struggling to stay positive, i dont know what to think and i dont know what the procedures will be next. All i want to do is to be healthy and be able to start a family with my partner, we would make fantastic parents and its all that we both want, i can feel all of this slipping away from me im sad. Thank you for letting me sound off its already made me feel better getting all of this off my chest. X