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How long do you feel is "long enough" to try to conceive before seeking treatment?

By August 8, 2010 - 7:56pm

Many women are struggling with the thought that they may/may not have fertility problems, and I would be interested in hearing from other women who have been diagnosed with fertility problems---do you feel you waited too long before seeking treatment for you or your partner? How long did you try to conceive?

By Blogger June 6, 2011 - 2:50pm

I appreciate all the information shared. I can contribute some information to confirm what others have said. According to guidelines established by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, women 35 and under can attempt to conceive for 12 months prior to seeking medical care related to the diagnosis and treatment of infertility. Women over the age of 35 should only attempt unprotected sex for six months before they consult with a Reproductive Endocrinologist.

Often insurance companies and state laws will follow guidelines. HOWEVER, it is important to remember this is a guideline. Personal health must be taken into consideration. An obvious example is a woman who has her fallopian tubes removed will not need to wait six or 12 months. You can always appeal to your medical provider or insureras to why you are concerned and consult on whether an infertility work up is appropriate earlier than the recommended guideline.

I have created a resource, Fertility Within Reach, to help women with infertility advocate for themselves. You may find it helpful. www.fertilityhealthadvocatesne.org

Best wishes to all,

June 6, 2011 - 2:50pm
By HERWriter Guide June 1, 2011 - 7:15am


I'm happy to hear your good news and thanks for giving hope to others.


June 1, 2011 - 7:15am
By May 28, 2011 - 3:02pm

At 21 I got into an OB after 3 months, but it was for a different reason. He started treating me because the issue I went in for was affecting my fertility. It still took 18 months for us to finally conceive, but it finally did happen.

May 28, 2011 - 3:02pm
By May 20, 2011 - 12:55pm

Hi Amy,

Thank you so much for your feedback. It's something to really think about and I appreciate the suggestions, especially having come from someone who has been through it. I think the part that is though to understand about all of this is that I know people whose docs have started their process earlier than the year mark. I wasn;t sure if this was a result of the patient being a teeny more pushy or if there were certain docs that felt it reasonable to start earlier than that. Regardless I really appreciate your feedback and think you made a great point about finding a doc you trust when starting this discussion. I just recently had to switch insurance from a PPO to Kaiser so I am a little nervous about that. Unfortunately my old plan just didnt have the type of coverage I would ideally like and I found myself worrying about the costs associated with even a healthy pregnancy let alone one where issues arose. I haven't had much experience in the past with them but I do feel much better not having the financial worry hanging over my head.

Anyhow, thank you again. VERY best of luck to you in your process, I wish only good things to come your way!

Kim, thank you for the hint on the book, I think I will have to pick that up. It's funny you say that as I have two girls I know who tried for ages and finally got pregnant. They swear what did the trick was laying down for a bit after and not rushing to the restroom. I am trying all the little things I can as well. Best of luck to you!

May 20, 2011 - 12:55pm
By May 18, 2011 - 1:46pm

I just finished the book, "making babies, a proven 3-month program to maximum fertility" by Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway. You can find it on Amazon.com here: http://www.amazon.com/Making-Babies-3-Month-Program-Fertility/dp/0316024503.

I am not pregnant yet; however, this program is exactly what I have been looking for - something to help me best determine if I have done everything I can NATURALLY before I jump head first into infertility treatments. I was shocked to find out how small things like the lubricant you use might keep you from getting pregnant. Missionary position is the best for getting pregnant. Don't move around for 10 - 20 minutes (but you don't need to stand on your head), etc., etc. I'm hopeful it is one of these little things that does the trick!

Good luck!

May 18, 2011 - 1:46pm
By HERWriter Guide May 17, 2011 - 9:53am

Hi Amy Leigh

Thank you SO much for your input; this is the kind of woman-to-woman support and information that we need.

How lucky you are to have IVF covered! And you're not negative at all about your experience with doctors. Not all doctors are good doctors - same as any other profession.

We wish you the best with your IVF - I hope you can update us with some great news soon!

May 17, 2011 - 9:53am
By May 17, 2011 - 9:40am

Hi folks - thought i would give a quick update (and hopefully provide some help to Marley's mom). Since my last post we went to see an obsgyny and i had to re-do all the tests that i did with my GP because she had done them wrong. In addition, the obsgyny ordered more tests for me and started testing my husband. So after another 4 months of testing we finally got an answer! It turns out that my husband has low sperm count and low sperm motility and our only option is IVF. Luckily we live in a province that covers IVF 100% (though there is a 4-6 month waitlist).

So with all that said, here is my advice. Whether you have to wait a year or if they will consider your case a little early - choose your doctor well. We ended up wasting almost 6 months with a clueless GP. If i had my time back i would have requested an immediate referral to an OBGYN. Alternatively - if you choose to go to your GP early to get some background tests done - be sure you know your stuff in case your GP doesn't. For example - hormone testing has to be done in sync with your cycle - my GP did not know that. Perhaps I seem a little negative here re my GP - but it has been very frustrating.

Anyways, that is my two cents. Good luck to everyone.


May 17, 2011 - 9:40am
By HERWriter Guide May 16, 2011 - 2:24pm

Hi again!

I know it's hard to gauge what difference a few months can make but I suppose some time line has to be established and it's 12 months.

I know that so many women have to deal with the waiting and frustration of getting their period every month. If you're ready to get moving on this, why don't you at least put a call into your doctor's office and talk to a nurse about your concerns. Some doctors are rigid on their policies, some are quite happy to change, based on circumstances.

You are still very young but if there does happen to be an issue here, and you'd like more than one child, then you should probably see about this sooner rather than later. Anyway, what harm can an informational phone call do? You have every right to advocate for yourself!

Let us know what you decide!


May 16, 2011 - 2:24pm
By May 16, 2011 - 2:14pm

Hi Susan,

I am in good health otherwise and try to take as good of care of myself as possible. I eat really healthy even to the point of cutting out things like gluten and dairy, take vitamins, am not overweight, etc.

I told my husband we need to try for a minimum of 8 months before I can start to rationalize going to a doctor for any testing. I guess what I have found interesting is the statistic between couples trying for 8 months and those trying for a year. The odd thing is that you notice the numbers dont increase all that much which makes me start to wonder about the importance of the extra 2 to 4 months if I was to go in at 8-10 months of ttc.

I was watching the video on your site of the woman (I believe her name was Keri) and that she went in after 6 months. I couldnt quite tell what the outcome was other than it seemed that they found some issues. I think the biggest fear is simply waiting to long only to have ofund out there were major underdlying issues. I wish this process was just a lot easier from an emotional standpoint!

May 16, 2011 - 2:14pm
By HERWriter Guide May 16, 2011 - 11:39am

Hi marleysmom

Most doctors wouldn't refer a woman under 35 to a fertility specialist unless she has been trying for 12 months. I don't know if there is an insurance component to that; there may well be so check into the policy you have, if you have one.

I think women need to trust their guts and it sounds like you think something may be wrong. Six months honestly isn't that long but if you suspect something, you can talk to your doctor about this. You can always say you've been trying for 12 months but I'm not sure about the ethics of that as well as the practicalities since time does matter in these cases. Honesty is better even if it's tempting to change the calendar!

You know you can get pregnant so that's a good thing and you are tracking your cycle - also a good thing. You are a grown woman and seem pretty educated about your body; I think you are right to want to have this seen to if you feel that it may lead to something. But I have to say again - there is a huge difference between a woman in her early 30s trying to get pregnant, than a woman in her early 40s. They would take the latter on straight away so be prepared to hear that you need to wait that other 6 months.

But this is your body and your future with a baby so I'd forgo all the "standards" and advocate for some testing if that's what you want. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to our bodies.

Are you in good health otherwise?

May 16, 2011 - 11:39am

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