LIVING IN ANGER/FEAR AND FEELING TRAPPED AND ALONE
My husband was in a car accident 2 years ago and is now disabled and mentally abusive to myself an our 16 year old daughter. He was driving his company vehicle drunk when the accident occurred. He did not get a DUI because he was not expected to survive. He spent 6 months in the hospital and had 22 surgeries. I stupidly stood by him and even covered up the drunk part of the accident. It is in his medical records which kept him from getting any workman's comp and his company fired him because of the medical records showing he was 2x over the legal limit. I applied for disability to protect my daughter and myself. I can't get over the fact that he did this to himself and ruined life as we knew it with alcohol. He is now sneaking alcohol and hiding it around the house. I have tried hiding the keys, credit cards, anything to keep him away from money or the car. He has even driven drunk recently. He is disabled with brain damage and horrific injuries - yet he manages to get around. He is not so disabled that he doesn't know whats going on. He died three times and was on and off a ventilator for several months in ICU. The trauma surgeons said there would be damage - that time would see how much. I supported him through all of this nightmare. Borrowing thousands of dollars from my family, suffering the embarrassment of hospital staff knowing he was drunk in the accident, living in a hotel with our daughter for 5 months, because the accident happened 2 hours from our home and the hospital was too far to drive to everyday. Only my close family knows the truth about his drunk driving. So everyone feels sorry for him and I constantly hear how lucky we are he is alive. I have not told ANYONE about the drinking to protect my daughter from being embarrassed. He is now mentally abusive to us and sleeps most of the time. He will hide my purse, keys or try to disable my computer. Even my family says I have to stay and take care of him - he is already being punished by living with his injuries and disabilities and that I should let him drink and have some "happy" time. I can't take it anymore, I feel hopeless and so alone. My spirit is slowly dying. He says I'm ugly, fat and a moron - and the accident was my fault because he drank to escape our marriage. I don't know what to do to escape this nightmare. My own family seems to have forgotten how we got here. He was not a great father or husband before - now it is really bad. I wish I had left him at the hospital and made him a ward of the state. I had more than one ICU nurse tell me too. They had seen many drunk accidents where the driver survived and families were destroyed. Last night he scared my daughter and I saw the fear on her face that matches mine now. I need some support and advice. Tears are rolling down my face as I write this and my soul is feeling crushed. I thought I was doing the right thing by standing by him - I was so wrong and now paying for it. We are living on his disability and I don't work out of the house. We only have one car and I am trying to keep my daughter in all her activities in school and make sure she gets into a good college and out of this nightmare. I know that I can't be alone in this situation and I am praying that someone sees this that understands.