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The Mom Factor

By July 29, 2010 - 10:49pm

There are books and websites and television shows telling us all how wonderfully rewarding it is to be a stay at home mom. They gush about how lucky we are to be able to stay home with the kids all day. I am not here to argue either of those points, as they are both valid. I have never done anything more important or rewarding than raising my son. I miss him when I’m gone for the day and realize I am lucky to get to witness first hand all of his developments and achievements in these beginning years of his life. But guess what else I am …


For a long time I thought I was the only woman who felt overwhelmed by this kid thing. I searched the internet and read all the books I could find in hopes to find other women like myself; women who were pretty much winging this whole parenting thing. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t a “Bad Mom” just because I sometimes joked about putting duct tape over the mouth of my screaming child (I wasn’t going to actually do it). I wanted to find another woman out there who, for the 1st couple of weeks after her child was born, wasn’t completely sure she had a stronger bond with the dog she’d had for the last 6 years (it doesn’t really seem fair to kick him out of the bed just because there’s a new guy in town, you know?). It’s moments like those – when we question our abilities – that make us human. If you can say, with a straight face, that you have never wondered about a debarking type procedure for your precious toddler, I’d say you are a damn good liar.

By July 30, 2010 - 4:25pm

Absolutely. I can laugh at just about anything - and lord knows my kiddo gives me plenty of material. He's better than cable, for sure. I just wish there was a mute button on him every now and then ;).

July 30, 2010 - 4:25pm
By July 30, 2010 - 8:51am

Thanks for starting this group!
I read a book called, "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids," by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. There are others from Ashworth about marriage, and mommy confessions. "Before I had kids" gives a really honest account of what motherhood is like today, and giving up those feelings of not being able to cut it as a 21st century mom. I found it particularly helpful having gone through PPD with my first, and feeling completely crazy for electing to have a second child. I work at home and send the boys to montessori school I need this for my sanity. I've learned to accept a lot of the sacrifice and guilt--that doesn't mean that I don't flop on the floor now and again and cry when they're both running like wild dogs and I can't get either one of them to listen to me, or sigh when I have to clean the upteenth pair of poop-stained underpants. My children are the most wonderful challenge I could've given myself. They crack me up, warm my heart, and leave me feeling inadequate daily. I know I am blessed in a lot of ways.
Another good book was "The Three Martini Playdate," by Christie Mellor. Anything that can make us laugh...

July 30, 2010 - 8:51am

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A collection of stories written by stay-at-home-moms, single moms, married moms ... you get the idea. It's the flip side of what most of us have seen in groups or websites so far. This group is to give mommy's everywhere a platform to be brutally honest. For example, I once wondered if there was a procedure for kids that was similar to the one that "de-barked" dogs. Don't gasp and act like you're shocked or offended just because I said it out loud. We are all human with human emotions and limits (plus hormones). This is a place you can vent and be honest without fear of judgment or criticism.


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