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Boyfriend of 9 months is more like a room mate

By April 12, 2013 - 5:50pm

Our relationship has clearly reached a point of no return. There is a severe lack of communication even when I initiate things to get to the root of the issue, which is lack of sex drive. Like a lot of the women on here, I am feeling very rejected and am beginning to feel that an affair may be in order on my end. I simply cannot have a loving relationship without the intimacy that is a very important part of any romantic relationship. Our sex drive in the beginning of the relationship were in sync but at this point, the porn is getting the best of him, while I am left with a limp guy. It isn't satisfying and as a matter of fact, I feel very sad that he has an addiction and prefers to masturbate instead of provide me with a part of himself sexually and intimately. He is great otherwise but lately has begun to put me down as though he isn't happy with who I am as a person. I have told him that if he isn't happy, he should go now because I won't stand by and be hurt by anyone. I was alone for nine years prior to this relationship so I am more than able to handle things on my own. I don't know when I should tell him to leave. Help.

By HERWriter Guide April 25, 2013 - 6:38am

Hi velvetunia

Thanks for your post and I'm sorry you're going through hard times.

A compulsion for porn can ruin relationships. Some men become unable to perform sexually with a real woman as a result of an addition to porn and end up using masturbation for sexual relief instead.

If your boyfriend won't get help and is putting you down or making you feel badly about yourself (and he's probably doing this to hide from his own problems and likely doesn't mean what he says although that doesn't stop you from being hurt by it) then you need to decide for yourself what you want out of life.

Having an affair is pointless. You haven't been together for long and you have no kids together (I assume) so why have an affair? You have no obligation to remain with him and having sex with someone else won't help the issue with your boyfriend. It'll just cause even more secrecy and dysfunction.

Talk to your boyfriend and tell him how you are being affected. If he doesn't do anything about it or keeps living like he lives now, then it may be time to seek a new life on your own.



April 25, 2013 - 6:38am

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