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I just left the father of my 6 month old child and i feel so depressed

By January 8, 2011 - 2:15am

im so scared. i dont know what to do. I just felt that he wasnt into me anymore. I thought the only reason he was with me is because of our kid. He wasnt affectonate nor did he show that he cared about my feelings. i was so crush because of the way he behaved twards me but now that i have left him i feel even worse. what should i do. Im so scared because now im having to live with my mom who has no job and i dont have a job either. i am crying because i just feel terrible like its my fault.

By HERWriter Guide January 13, 2011 - 9:28am

Hi I_love_him

Thanks for your post and don't feel guilty that it's your fault, it's not! If a relationship is not working out, then it's not working out. It takes bravery to leave, even though it feels so horribly painful at the time.

You might feel this way for a while and it really sucks (sometimes that word describes things so well!) but it WILL get better, that I can promise!

I am glad you have your mom to stay with and it's a tough time to look for a job but you can do it! If your mom can watch the baby while you work (and you can pay her for babysitting if you are living rent free) then it may be a great (temporary) solution for now or even for longer, if you are all happy with the arrangement. Many homes are now intergenerational because of the economy. Getting a job can help your mom pay some bills and in turn, she can take care of your baby if she is willing to do that.

The job market is looking up! Try stores like Target, Border's Books or Costco or Kohls. You can also get benefits there, or try any retail store. I am seeing more and more WE'RE HIRING signs and take what you can get (part-time etc) and before you know it, you could be full time with benefits. Apply everywher and you will get some call backs - some of my friends are in the same position and they are all getting call-backs and jobs, even just part-time for now. Waitressing is hard but the money can be great and the shifts are usually only 4-5 hours long.

Colleges are offering courses for free or minimal amounts and there are scholarships available, look into everything. Call up lots of colleges (the Admissions Dept) and tell them your story and ask if they have any recommendations. They are here to help! You can't sit home with the baby all day, waiting for somthing to happen - go out and make it happen! Apply for 5 jobs every day!

You are also owed child support. Get this legalized very quickly. The father of your child cannot walk away without supporting the baby. Do this as soon as you can, your baby is entitled to money on a regular basis; this is not his option, it's his legal obligation and if he's any man at all, he should be willing to do this. Please get that started right away!

Again, I know things feel just awful right now (and that is very normal), but it's a fresh start for you! You've taken a huge step. You'll meet new friends at a new job and this could be the best thing you ever did!

Let me know how I can help you further!


January 13, 2011 - 9:28am

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