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Need advice on marriage problems

By November 10, 2010 - 8:20am

This is only one of many problems in my marriage, but this is the one on my mind for the past 2 days. If my husband doesn't like a shirt that I'm wearing, he tells me every time I wear it that he doesn't like it. Recently I was wearing a shirt that I liked enough to buy in two different colors, and I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I don't really like this top". But I don't think it's ME that doesn't like it...I think it's just him getting in my head. Most of what I wear to work, he doesn't like. And the clothes that I wear off the clock have been reduced to nothing but black band tee's (in women's size/style, so they fit, they're not loose, long or baggy), and jeans. And if the jeans are even slightly baggy, I hear about that too.

I want to dress the way I like, and in clothes I'm comfortable wearing, but I also want to respect his feelings about things he dislikes. But where do I draw the line? When is it him just being unreasonable?

He doesn't like girls with short hair...and shoulder length is short to him. I used to like to cut my hair up to my shoulder's sometimes, as it's easier to manage my scalp psoriasis that way, but haven't done it in 6 yrs because he wouldn't like it. I've been thinking recently about cutting it shorter, because I feel the need to establish that he doesn't own me. But I feel like that would be the wrong way to go about it. It would only cause an argument. But so would going to him and telling him that I want to cut it. So again, where is the line between respecting my husband, and keeping my independence?

By November 10, 2010 - 5:14pm

I can't relate to the clothes but with the hair.... I GET! I've been in the same boat!
I finally let my husband know that I've been wanting a change a couple of weeks before I went to go get my hair cut. I warned him it was going to be short. Although it was right pass my shoulders... it's short to him. Remind him... it's just hair. It will grow back! My husband wasn't fond of it, but he did understand it was MY hair. Good luck!

November 10, 2010 - 5:14pm

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