November 10, 2010 - 8:20am
This is only one of many problems in my marriage, but this is the one on my mind for the past 2 days. If my husband doesn't like a shirt that I'm wearing, he tells me every time I wear it that he doesn't like it. Recently I was wearing a shirt that I liked enough to buy in two different colors, and I looked in the mirror and said to myself, "I don't really like this top". But I don't think it's ME that doesn't like it...I think it's just him getting in my head. Most of what I wear to work, he doesn't like. And the clothes that I wear off the clock have been reduced to nothing but black band tee's (in women's size/style, so they fit, they're not loose, long or baggy), and jeans. And if the jeans are even slightly baggy, I hear about that too.
I want to dress the way I like, and in clothes I'm comfortable wearing, but I also want to respect his feelings about things he dislikes. But where do I draw the line? When is it him just being unreasonable?
He doesn't like girls with short hair...and shoulder length is short to him. I used to like to cut my hair up to my shoulder's sometimes, as it's easier to manage my scalp psoriasis that way, but haven't done it in 6 yrs because he wouldn't like it. I've been thinking recently about cutting it shorter, because I feel the need to establish that he doesn't own me. But I feel like that would be the wrong way to go about it. It would only cause an argument. But so would going to him and telling him that I want to cut it. So again, where is the line between respecting my husband, and keeping my independence?