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Sex after depression

By March 28, 2013 - 1:47pm

Hi everyone, I really don't know where to search for this one but I am trying to help my sex life recover! I have been with my handsome, caring, funny boyfriend for 5 years. When we started dating, we had a great sex life and three years ago I got really ill with depression and anxiety for about 10 months. Sex was the bottom of my priorities as you can imagine, but as I recovered from the anxiety with CBT, medication and other methods, I still had no interest in sex and when we made love, I didn't enjoy it and didn't feel anything. My boyfriend knew this and stopped trying to kiss me or make love to me. This has been going on for a couple of years now and it's got to the stage where we're both too anxious and self conscious to do anything except give eachother a peck on the cheek before going to sleep every night. :( I love him and am attracted to him but I feel like I have seriously damaged our relationship. He admitted to me the other night that he'd rather go without than not enjoy it! The other thing is that I can generally only orgasm through dirty talk...i am blushing so much here writing this....and he recently told me he doesn't like this.....making me feel even more embarrassed and anxious.
I'd really appreciate any thoughts or advice anyone has on how i could try to get through this. Even recommendations on a good book I could read to help with this?
Thanks, Desleys mummy

By HERWriter Guide April 4, 2013 - 10:26am

Hi desleysmummy

Thanks for your post!

I'm very sorry that you have been hit with depression; I know how awful it is and how much it changes your life, both physically and mentally.

The first thing I thought about when reading your story was if your medication is affecting your sex drive. From personal experiences and from the experiences of friends, I can tell you that these medications caused sex drives to be drastically reduced or eliminated altogether and this may be what is going on with you.

I'm not sure that reading books about this will help, aside from giving you a better understanding of what is happening to you. Talk to your doctor about looking into different medications and take up as much exercise as you can. Also get plenty of sunshine if you can, even if it's cold outside. Sex drive elimination is a major side effect of anti-depressants.

Let me know what you think!


April 4, 2013 - 10:26am

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