How to Order at a Restaurant for Your Food Sensitivities

If you’ve done an elimination diet or been allergy tested, then you’ve done the hard work to discover what foods do or do not work for your body.

It can feel amazing to have achieved this precious state of feeling good, especially after years of feeling unwell or after a major diagnosis. But the moment you’re served a food that doesn’t fly with your health protocol, you can come crashing down from that pedestal of good health, and in a hurry.

Maintaining your ideal eating plan can become a precious balancing act, and the many variables that a restaurant presents may feel daunting.

Is there anything I can eat on this menu? Will the waitstaff really “hear” me? Does the chef understand that gluten isn’t just in bread? Is this chicken or vegetable broth?

If you’ve ever had your hard-won physical homeostasis shattered, you may have resigned yourself to never eat out again.

But that’s no fun! We want to THRIVE through any diagnosis or state of health.

And if self-care is the essence of health care (and it is), then being able to vocalize our dietary needs should be THE thing we’re experts at.

Yet women sometimes feel like we’re “burdening” people with our “issues” just by stating what we need. Ladies, speaking up for our health needs is priority numero uno.

I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis two years ago. Upon diagnosis I thought, “At least I’m not celiac! I don’t have to live without gluten!” only to find through an elimination diet that I did indeed need to forego the much maligned protein found in wheat, barley and rye in order to feel good and live comfortably.

Since cutting out gluten and dairy, I don’t miss the inflammatory agents in the least because my health without them is so much better.

Discovering that these were problems for my body was one thing, figuring out how to explain my needs to waitstaff was another.

Through my work to thrive through this diagnosis over these years, I’ve discovered some simple ways to get what I want and need when ordering at a restaurant.

1) Nail Your One-Liner

What is the one thing the waiter needs to know? Not your long and bumpy road to diagnosis, or the story about your a life-long allergy. Find the fewest number of words that will communicate your health situation, and the stakes involved.

Through trial and error, I finally landed on “I was diagnosed with MS, and I eat gluten- and dairy-free to manage my symptoms.”

Whenever I try to skip this step, I end up regretting it. Of course there are (many) times that I think I can decipher a menu on my own, and don’t mention my sensitivities at all, only to find that not all ingredients are included on the menu.

In thinking that I'm saving the waiter the “bother” of my food needs (such a female thought), I’ve only created more work if I have to send it back, or if they see me hunting for croutons or blue cheese crumbles as soon as the plate reaches my place setting.

If you're out with coworkers and this is a private condition that you prefer not share, take the opportunity to speak with waitstaff directly. Excuse yourself to the restroom and have a quick conversation to bring them up to speed. Or call ahead and let the manager or hostess know the situation.

2) Recruit The Waitstaff as Part of Your Healing Team

We're all in this together. Smile. Introduce yourself.

If we can communicate our needs in an empowered way, we are recruiting the waitstaff to be on our healing team over the course of this meal.

Remember, they want us to be happy. That is a priority of their job. Let them do their job.

Questions are powerful tools in allowing someone to step up, demonstrate their knowledge, and really be a part of the solution.

“What dishes do you recommend if I need to avoid peanuts/ shellfish/ dairy/ MSG/ gluten/ poultry (or D — some unique combo of the above)?” empowers the waiter more than saying, “I CAN’T eat this . . . (laundry list of ingredients)” and ending it there.

If you want them working as your advocates in the kitchen, let them be a part of your team.

3) Do Your Homework, and Make Empowered Decisions

Check out menus online and call ahead. You can gauge the restaurant’s level of reception to food concerns just by reading the menu.

Do they have notations for gluten-free and dairy-free? Is there a vegetarian section? Do they have a VEGAN section? (There’s a world of difference between vegetarian and vegan eating.)

Phoning the hostess ahead of time, you can usually tell right away if they are adaptable and accommodating for allergies, or if they are a little more old-school and prefer to serve their cuisine in the only way they feel comfortable.

In New Orleans recently, I had a perfect opportunity to siphon through the long list of restaurants my friends and I were considering.

Some really wonderful restaurants completely understood my gluten and dairy-related concerns, and then other classic Louisiana-style kitchens I called really couldn't think of one menu item they could recommend without a roux or flour-drenched beer batter crust.

I don't need to try to reinvent the wheel at this type of restaurant. I narrowed my list based on places that were receptive to specific food needs. That being said, I advocate completely for everyone else being adventurous.

I let my friends know that if they had a hankerin’ for a muffuletta or fried shrimp po-boy, I would just grab a protein-and-veggies-based lunch before or after.

When we look for opportunity, not defeat, it’s easier to see the wealth of options available.

4) Come Prepared, If Needed

Consider getting a doctor's note. An older friend had heart surgery, and would present a note to the restaurant waitstaff when ordering. It communicated to the kitchen exactly what types of fats he was allowed, per his cardiologist. And the restaurant was happy to oblige.

5) Remain in Integrity

If you have marginal reactions to a wee bit of an offending food, you may be able to sample a bite with few repercussions. But realize that telling a server that you’re dairy-free at the beginning of the meal, and nibbling on your friend’s creamy dessert at the end of the evening leads to confusion for the waiter.

Be real from the start with something like, “I can tolerate small amounts of dairy but have adverse reactions to large amounts of heavy creams, so I will be ordering dairy-free during this meal.”

Anyone who remembers Carrie’s faux parsley allergy at dinner with Berger and Charlotte in “Sex and the City” can understand how the phrase “food sensitivities” could be a giant thorn in the side to kitchen staff everywhere.

But by communicating with positive, empowered energy, and being straightforward with the reason for the request, you make it clear to that you’re not just picky or trying a fad diet.

If I had a dime for every time I didn't say what I need at the beginning of the meal — only to question the ingredients later or get something I wasn't expecting — I’d have a nice little savings account by now.

No matter how extraneous or self-indulgent it sounds, knowing and vocalizing your one-liner will help create an enjoyable experience not only for you, but for your dining companions and the restaurant staff. Clarity on our part is the best tool we can use in getting what we need to thrive.

For more tips on ordering with food sensitivities, watch the companion video created for this piece below.

Mary's Bio:

Mary Joan Cunningham makes videos and writes articles about how to thrive through anything life throws at you at ThrivewithMS.com.

She has also been featured on Mogul, HuffPost Live, Glamour, The Mighty, Livestrong.com and Huffington Post.

Thrive with MS is a 2016 Finalist for the Austin Under 40 Awards.

You can find more videos on Mary’s YouTube page.

Reviewed September 8, 2016
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith

Add a CommentComments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one and get the conversation started!

Tags:

• Healthy Eating