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Trying to Overcome a Lackadaisical Rut

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Today is Wednesday. I haven’t left the house except to run an errand here and there since Friday. Every morning I have been feeling tired and nauseous. I usually start feeling better in the late afternoon. Thankfully, Ann Marie has been here the past few days to help me get some stuff done.

The days that I feel nauseous it makes it really hard to do stuff around the house. Once I get up and start moving around I feel sick. The key seems to be to keeping horizontal with an ice pack on my head. It sucks. I hate not being able to go outside and go for a run or hike up Camelback Mountain. I am going to try to go to the Village over the next couple of days to sit on the recumbant bike. I have got to get some sort of exercise. I feel so lackadaisical and I’m not sure what to do to get out of this rut! I think a vacation would definitely help.

I can’t wait for my sister to get down here. Maybe that will help. I think part of it is loneliness, depression, and just being sick. The other part is just being lazy. I used to be on the go all of the time. You would never catch me at home. Now I’ve become such a homebody. I do have to say though I have gotten tons of stuff done around the house. It sucks not having a guy around to help me fix things. There are so many little things that I have had to call to get serviced. Money just starts bleeding out of me. $100 here, $200 there. It never stops.


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HERWriter Guide


I do not have the same health issues as you (or Pat) but what she says about "trying to find ways to develop some new standards for what's "normal" for me now instead of using old benchmarks." rings so true.

I'm so guilty of doing that over minor things : getting annoyed at 9 months pregnant that I had a hard time putting boots on or that I ran out of breath if I ran up and down the stairs very quickly. I was irritated that I was different than 9 months before. Well, of course I was, I had a full grown baby in my belly!

In your case I know it's totally different but the meaning is the same. It's not for me to tell you how to deal with your illness because heaven only knows how I would. But I think that Pat's advice to you is wonderful.

I wish you (and Pat) the very best in your fights against cancer.

January 23, 2010 - 1:29pm
HERWriter Guide

Hi Melissa - I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on EmpowHer, but I have a good idea of what's causing what you've diagnosed as " Lackadaisical Rut " and what you can do to "treat" it. You see, I have the same "disease" myself. When you're an active, assertive, independent and always on the go person - and you get slowed down by both illness and cancer treatments - it's very hard to accept the new pace as "normal" or even okay. I know that I tend to judge what I'm able to do right now against what I was able to do in the past, and it sounds like you do the same. Well, it took me a while to realize that I'm not being fair to myself when I do that and I'm trying to find ways to develop some new standards for what's "normal" for me now instead of using old benchmarks. I totally get why you described yourself as "lazy" in your post, but you are anything BUT lazy and you're getting an awful lot done these days, including writing your blog posts, handling your remodeling project, undergoing treatment, keeping up with the many aspects of daily life, and more. One thing that could help would be to accept that you're going to be spending more of your time inside and find some ways to develop an indoor exercise program that you would enjoy. Is that the ideal thing to do? Heck no. Is it what you used to do? Heck no. Is it making the most of today's reality and the new normal? That's something only you can answer, but I hope you'll give it a try, and give yourself credit for all the stuff you ARE getting done. I'd love to know your thoughts on this.
Take care, Pat

January 22, 2010 - 5:39pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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