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The Stress of Tornado Thinking

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Have you ever found yourself in a rut; thinking about a stressful situation and all of its ramifications, doing the “what-if” game, and then finding yourself back where you started? I call this “Tornado Thinking” because you end up going ‘round and ‘round and never coming to any solution; just stress that keeps building.

Some years ago we built a new home and the financing was taking way too long. When you get a construction loan, there are two phases. First they have to approve YOU; they want to make sure you can pay them back. The other phase is that they have to approve the PROJECT; they want to make sure that you can build it for the amount you said, that it will be worth enough when it is finished to be proper collateral for the loan, and that it will, in fact, be able to be finished!

WE were approved, but it was taking forever to approve the project. Winter was approaching and I was concerned that if the money didn't come through soon we would have to wait until spring to start because there wouldn't be time to pour the concrete footing before the ice and snow. But, we had already sold our home and the timing was such that waiting until spring would be very costly and inconvenient. So I found myself lying awake at night worried about the whole mess.

"If I don't get the financing, we can't start. If we can't start we can't pour the footings. If we can't pour the footings, we'll have to wait until spring. If we have to wait until spring, we might lose the workers to other projects which will delay the project even longer, and then we will have to move into an interim home with 7 animals. If we have to do that, we'll have to put our stuff in storage, and that will cost us a ton of money and I'll need even more financing. How can I get MORE financing when I can't even get them to give me what I need today? I've GOT to get that financing. If I don't...." and then the process starts over.

Each iteration gets more frantic and more stressful, like the bird that flew faster and faster in smaller and smaller circles; he eventually flew up his own rear end and disappeared! In my head, I was thinking in circles... round and round, like a tornado. If you catch yourself doing that, you've got to break the cycle. There is no option other than to ferment in your own anxiety.

How to break the cycle? The most important thing here is to recognize what you are doing. When you do, you’ll slap yourself on the forehead and say, “DOH!” and then will probably be able to distract yourself enough to get out of the rut.

Awareness is the key. Tornado thinking. Don’t do it.

This article is one in a series on coping strategies for patients and caregivers alike. For more thoughts on caregiving, coping strategies, reducing stress, and just plain fun subscribe to my free monthly newsletter at http://www.CaringAndCoping.com Need a speaker for an upcoming event? I have a program that will knock your socks off! Watch video clips at http://www.ThePPP.org/speaking/#handle

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Dave Balch
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.