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Ten Things I’d Love to Tell My Younger Self

By divinecaroline
 
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I’ve learned some valuable things about life, love and being female over the past half century. Here is the advice I try to pass on to younger women in my life (family and friends) in the hope that it will save them some precious time:

1. You are at least ten times prettier than you think you are.

That holds true no matter how pretty you already think you are! Don’t believe me? Ask your mother/auntie/grannie if she thought she was pretty when she was twenty. She’ll say no. Then find a photo of her at that age. See what I mean?

2. The only thing you should be faking is confidence.

If you don’t have it yet, pretend you do. In every new situation, pretend you’re not nervous; pretend you’re not afraid. After a few times doing this, the pretend part disappears.

3. Want to try something new like painting, skiing or running your own business? Go to the library and borrow ten different books on the subject.

Skim through them all, find the ones that have the most vital information and study them. Then see number two.

4. No matter how old you get, remember what it was like to be a 9-year-old girl.

Remember the feeling of freedom. If you’ve already forgotten, do a cartwheel. You can so still do one. Savor that feeling. Wake up with it every day. You’ll stay young until the day you die.

5. In the same vein, cut or potted flowers are never a waste of money.

Because every time we glance at them, they remind us how much beauty there can be in the world.

6. Speaking of money, starting right this moment, whether you’re twenty or sixty, you can change your finances around.

Don’t leave someone else completely in charge, whether it’s your husband, partner, parents or banker. Become financially savvy. Financial independence gives you the freedom to walk away from many bad situations. How do you know you’re in bad situation? See number seven.

7. If your stomach hurts and you haven’t got a virus, you’re in a bad situation.

Before you know what it is, your stomach always does. Give yourself some time to ponder what it might be that’s making your stomach hurt.

Add a Comment9 Comments

EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I'd like to thank you sincerely for posting my blog "Ten Things" . I'm so glad you found it valuable. It was originally titled, "From An Older Woman to a Younger One" It's always a good feeling when someone gets something out of something I write.

With many thanks,
Patricia V. Davis

April 11, 2010 - 1:49pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

I would like to than Empowher for posting my article. It was very nice to see it here, particularly with all the wise comments from other women posted after it.

Sincerely,
Patricia Volonakis Davis

August 6, 2009 - 4:55pm
rlyons

This is great! I would tell my younger self not to sleep with men who don't respect you. I did that FAAAR too much and now that I am in love with a good man, I know that it was just a matter of waiting for the right one. I would tell myself never to let a man take advantage, never to drunk dial and never to go for a man just because he is good looking.
And now I have a gorgeous man who is also kind, sweet and generous. I was afraid when I was younger that Mr. right didn't exist. I would tell myself that indeed he does!
Confidence is a big one too! I should have been SOOOO confident being artistic and having lots going for me...this post reminds me to be confident now while I AM still young!

July 7, 2009 - 12:11am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

If only I would have listened to the advice of my mother and grandmother to enjoy my youth lol. I would also tell myself
Be your true self always. Don't try to be someone else to impress others because someday your true self is gonna come out and no one will recognize you anymore, or you'll fall into a depression struggling to keep up with the fake person on the outside.

July 6, 2009 - 9:58pm
alysiak

I'm "Auntie Al" to my niece and nephews, the crazy "Auntie Mame" type who'll race around the house on my knees playing games with the youngest, teach them about elephant controls (effluent controls) and build mountains of Lego contraptions. I have always believed that, if you lose touch with the child in yourself, you can't really be in touch with your children or grandchildren. Or, maybe I've just always wanted to have fun, who knows.

Continuous learning keeps the little gray cells healthy.

Independence is a good thing, especially for women and their money. During my former career as an investment banker, I held many a seminar on that topic.

Something I've never figured out is what I want to be when I grow up; there are just too many things out "there" to do or learn to do.

But, I won't be jumping out of any airplanes after Susan any time soon, LOL!

July 6, 2009 - 4:27pm
Susan Cody HERWriter Guide

I also love this too!!

Everytime I do something "ridiculous" for a 39 year old mother of 3 (like my penchant for jumping off REALLY high things and other adrenaline inducing behaviors!) I remind myself that it's ok to love, like and do things for sheer pleasure, craziness or fulfillment, and age has nothing to do with it. I didn't lose "me" when I became "Mommy" or got older. My life is pretty much devoted to family but the last year or so has really taught me that a little focus on my own self makes me a much better all round person.

Three years ago, I took up painting acrylics on canvas - and I can't even paint!

I'm kind of an old soul. I don't need to be reminded how fast my kids are growing up or how time is flying by. So I live for every day and have stopped sweating so much of the small stuff. I don't over-analyze and I just try to live my life having fun, as well as not forgetting the responsibilities I have.

But there are still days I second guess myself or take things too seriously so reading this is great!

Thanks for posting, an affirmation like this is good to read!

July 6, 2009 - 11:34am
Shana O'Connor Guide Blogger

Thank you! I enjoyed reading this. What a good way to start off the week!!

July 6, 2009 - 10:25am
Diane Porter

I love this. Love it. Love it.

If I could talk to my younger self, I'd add:

11. Don't worry so much what other people are going to think. They usually aren't thinking about you anyway.

July 6, 2009 - 10:02am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Very sage advice!

July 6, 2009 - 9:27am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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