"The Professional, High-Functioning Bipolar Patient"
There exists what I’d like to call the PHFBP, or the professional, high-functioning bipolar patient.
When looking at the PHFBP, it would appear that he faces few problems. He is compliant in his treatment. He is successful in his job; he may be married and have children; he has friends, and in essence, he is happy. For the therapist, this patient might be called "the model patient." In reality, although this patient is seen as a "model" patient, he still must cope with several, important life issues. (I know because I’m a PHFBP and have been one for several years.)
The issues are as follows:
1. Do I really need to take my meds?
Medication is a sticky subject. It’s usually visible, either sitting out or in a cabinet, just sitting there for any nosey guest to come along and read the bottle. Medication also can put on the pounds, like around 50. It’s a hassle to take it every day. A nuisance. Life would be much easier without it. Wouldn’t it?
2. Should I "come out" in my family, the neighborhood or at work?
I really want to tell people, but I’m afraid of the after effects. Will they lose trust in me? I feel like an imposter, like I can’t truly be myself. Who am I, really?
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Kristin: Thanks for the great clarification...
Anonymous: I don't have the problem you describe. When I'm manic or depressed, I feel closer to God. I don't feel that he's against me.
My suggestion would be to get close to God through prayer when you're healthy.
God loves you. When you're healthy you know that. Try to keep that in focus.
It sounds like you do have a relationship with God.
I started to come undone today at work. I moved three years ago across the country to my childhood home and have not told anyone I am bipolar. In the past I suffered through episodes which left me hospitalized and felt the stigma from my co-workers. I vowed no one here would ever know. And while, I do hold it together pretty well, every once in a while I feel a bit "wobbly" but totally lack the support system to deal with it.
I have a great job I love but I am afraid I will end up running away.
Since you don't have a support system in place, would you be willing to look into joining a local support group?
Anonymous: I feel for you. I agree with Kristin. You might need to look for a good confidential support group to join. Also, on my bad days, I often call my psychiatrist for support. You might do that. If you don't see a psychologist, I suggest getting one. They're invaluable. I can call mine any time I need her. I call her about once a week.
Take care and write tomorrow to let us know how you feel.
Laura