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Women's Internalized Oppression: Undermining Your Own Sexuality

May 28, 2009 - 8:31am 107514 reads 75 comments

"Slut!"

Like children telling stories about a scary old man, women criticize each other's sexuality - from a safe distance.

"Slut!"

It's hit and run.

"Slut" is what women call a woman who is "too" sexual. It's someone who can enjoy sex without being in love. Someone who admits she enjoys sex more than a woman "should." In other words, it's a woman who can enjoy sex the way only men are supposed to be able to.

"Look at her, all over him. Is she even wearing a bra? God, anyone can tell what's on her mind...what is she, a nympho?"

But there are costs to this sisterly vigilance. Aware that others will be judging them, it makes women wonder if they're withholding their sexuality "enough." Or it makes them proud that they do. Either way, it says that repressing yourself is an important part of sexuality and relationships. And that's a destructive idea.

Women are caught in a historical collision between the sexual values of the past and future. Religion, the media and our families are sending out contradictory messages about sexuality that are driving women crazy.

Consider: Today's woman is supposed to be sexy, but not too sexy.

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Anonymous

I felt the point of the article was less 'Women should feel this way,' and more 'Women should feel free to feel this way.'

In your own words, "There is nothing wrong with women who don't put out whenever the opportunity presents itself. Nothing wrong with women that wear comfortable clothes." The article is just saying that there isn't anything wrong with women who put out more than others, or who wear whatever they want. Do what is right for you, regardless of what we might be told is 'right.' Women don't HAVE to have sex, but they shouldn't feel ashamed of it when they do.

Anonymous

You have completely missed the point! He is certainly not suggesting anything remotely close to your interpretation, which I think you should seriously look at why you feel the way you do and where that comes from really? Anyhow, he is simply suggesting women take a more active, open and proud approach to their sexuality. That does not mean dressing like a whore and sleeping with every man you make eye contact with!!

There is no shame in enjoying ones sexuality whether female or male. That is what this is about.

Anonymous

Sounds to me like your one of the "people" they are talking about. The women that label others sluts. I myself think its jealousy. One only critisizes others when one is un happy with theirselves.

Anonymous

Sounds to me like your one of the "people" they are talking about. The women that label others sluts. I myself think its jealousy. One only critisizes others when one is un happy with theirselves.

Anonymous

I think you've completely missed the point of this article.

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