Women's Internalized Oppression: Undermining Your Own Sexuality
"Slut!"
Like children telling stories about a scary old man, women criticize each other's sexuality - from a safe distance.
"Slut!"
It's hit and run.
"Slut" is what women call a woman who is "too" sexual. It's someone who can enjoy sex without being in love. Someone who admits she enjoys sex more than a woman "should." In other words, it's a woman who can enjoy sex the way only men are supposed to be able to.
"Look at her, all over him. Is she even wearing a bra? God, anyone can tell what's on her mind...what is she, a nympho?"
But there are costs to this sisterly vigilance. Aware that others will be judging them, it makes women wonder if they're withholding their sexuality "enough." Or it makes them proud that they do. Either way, it says that repressing yourself is an important part of sexuality and relationships. And that's a destructive idea.
Women are caught in a historical collision between the sexual values of the past and future. Religion, the media and our families are sending out contradictory messages about sexuality that are driving women crazy.
Consider: Today's woman is supposed to be sexy, but not too sexy.
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I think though, that a woman calling a woman a slut is a different experience. Then it has to do with a woman's view of herself and expectations of society. Stating that women call women sluts is not suggesting that men do not as well. That just isn't relevant to the article, which is about how women interpret, experience, and make decisions about their own sexuality.
And the generalization is necessary to the article. You have to generalize to a certain point to make a case. The author isn't claiming every female feels this way - for those who don't, the article clearly isn't for them. In addition, saying that women don't feel this way is also making a generalization of sorts.
-remaai
True Anon - good point. If we were to include all angles to all points of view, we would literally have to write a novella, at the very least.
The main point of the article is that there is no "right" or "wrong" way for a woman to enjoy her sexuality. Wear a muu muu or wear a leather thong, have sex, don't have sex...do this...or do that..... what the author says is that there is no one-size-fits-all model of sexuality and when we understand and accept that, we can embrace our own brand of sexuality and live a happier and healthier life.
Let's not forget that we can be and are sexy even after menopause. Sexy is a state of mind and is determined by what each woman is comfortable with.
Thank you for drawing attention to this Dr. Klein
Really can't believe this article. Has it occurred to you that lots of the same women who look at a braless drunken hookup and think the guy is just as much of a "slut" as the girl? Mindless pointless promiscuity is gross. That's it, man or woman, some of us just think it's stupid, dangerous, and unfulfilling. You have to deal with that just like we have to deal with being responsible while having to listen to everyone around us complain about how they got the clap.
Well said.
All the women I know who act sexy in public and have a lot of sex with random strangers are very insecure people - unhappy with their entire life including their sexuality. I'm a woman and I do call people (women and men) sluts if they sleep around - I do that because it's true and frankly it's disgusting.
Why do so many people feel the need to write articles telling women what to think and do?!