Number One Reason for Developing an Eating Disorder
Hundreds of people have asked me why someone develops an eating disorder. Of course many issues are involved, but from my exploration of this field over the years, I have concluded that there is one outstanding theme that runs through every person with an eating disorder whom I have encountered.
Early in their lives, people with eating disorders have experienced, on a sustained basis, relentless boundary invasion on every level.
When their physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, sexual, and creative boundaries are consistently ignored and penetrated, people experience total boundary invasion. With no control and no way to end, protest, or, often, even acknowledge such invasions, these persons feel helplessness, despair, and a certainty that they are worthless to themselves or anyone else.
The consequences of such total invasion are vast. One consequence is an eating disorder. Having had so many boundaries disregarded, a person has no knowledge or skills in recognizing or honoring boundaries herself. She will eat or starve for emotional relief.
She may eat vast amounts of food for comfort value alone. She may deprive herself of food until her life is in danger.
Add A New CommentWe value and respect the experiences of all of our HerWriters, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.
Add A New Comment186 Comments
Joanna,
In an effort to help another parent with their child's recovery, I once posted these questions seven that every parent should ask a therapist before they give them access to their child:
1. What do you think causes this illness?
2. Did you suffer from anorexia and if so, do you still have anorexic thoughts?
3. What "issues" do you deal with in therapy? Have you found that there are common issues that you deal with in your ED patients?
4. What role do you believe the parent plays in recovery? How would you define recovery?
5. Have you heard of Maudsley? What is your experience with it?
6. Have you looked at Walter Kaye's research on Anorexia and if so, what do you think of it?
7. What books do you recommend to parents? to sufferers?
It was my contention that everything you need to know about whether the therapist would help or harm your child could be discovered if these questions were answered truthfully. I'm curious how you would respond to them.
Cheforexic
Dear Cheforexic,
Thank you for these questions. I'm sure many people will find them of interest.
My work is with adults. I don't see children in my practice. I have learned that eating disorder recovery is best undertaken with a clinician who specializes in the field.
Working with adolescents and younger children are specialized fields in themselves.
I refer parents who call for treatment for their children to clinicians who have expertise in both adolescents and eating disorders or expertise in both younger children and eating disorders.
If you would like to share how you came to create this list of questions and what effect it has had on others, I welcome your contribution.
best regards,
Joanna
Cheforexic, thank you so much for that list of questions.
Very good!
It is so important for parents and those who suffer from eating disorders to realize that there are "professionals" who can do them so much more harm than good.
With the questions that you offer, one can at least try to attempt to prevent exposing a loved one or oneself to toxic therapists.
Bravo!
"My lifework is dedicated to eating disorder recovery. My own experience with bulimia, long before it had a name, and my recovery journey deeply informs my work with others"
From her personal website:http://www.eatingdisorderrecovery.com/aboutjoanna.html
Telling don't you think?
.
Joanna wrote :
"In your post you refer to a population of families I and other clinicians may never see. It's possible and probable that more exists than what comes through our offices for treatment....for example, [I] only work with adults who are affected by an eating disorder..."
I posted a link to your artical on the Parents board of Something-Fishy, and there is a discussion going there as well.
One of the things I mentioned in that conversation is the possiblity that, just as you have implied, some kind of screening may be at work ( perhaps you present yourself as working with truama issues as well ?) and as a result you may indeed see a high percentage of clients with the very same issues you mention. Heaven knows that such issues do exist, and that just as you contend, childhood family issues are often the cause.
However, as you might expect, these contentions are, in general, not playing very well on the Parents board. But my guess is that some of the same sort of selecton/screening process may be going on there as well. In that parents who may have indeed been detached, cold or neglectful are not likely to be joining Something-Fishy. Nor are they likely to show up here to validate the contentions in your artical.
I know for a fact that people with EDs come from all sorts of various backgrounds, from the horrifically abusive to the concientious and loving. When one agknowedges this range of variation, the role of genetically determined temprament as it plays out in sensitivity/reactivity would seem to be an important one.
What I mean is....I believe there is a valid place for all positions within this discussion.
PS. Bob waves an old-time hello to Laura. :- )