Number One Reason for Developing an Eating Disorder
Hundreds of people have asked me why someone develops an eating disorder. Of course many issues are involved, but from my exploration of this field over the years, I have concluded that there is one outstanding theme that runs through every person with an eating disorder whom I have encountered.
Early in their lives, people with eating disorders have experienced, on a sustained basis, relentless boundary invasion on every level.
When their physical, emotional, psychological, intellectual, sexual, and creative boundaries are consistently ignored and penetrated, people experience total boundary invasion. With no control and no way to end, protest, or, often, even acknowledge such invasions, these persons feel helplessness, despair, and a certainty that they are worthless to themselves or anyone else.
The consequences of such total invasion are vast. One consequence is an eating disorder. Having had so many boundaries disregarded, a person has no knowledge or skills in recognizing or honoring boundaries herself. She will eat or starve for emotional relief.
She may eat vast amounts of food for comfort value alone. She may deprive herself of food until her life is in danger.
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I apologize for not having read all the comments, but I would like to add my opinion all the same:
First: As a 26-year-old woman whose onset of an eating disorder lies past her teen years (at 22), I would like to say that I find your explanation as to the cause of the illness somewhat, well, simplified. While I agree that my mother may have invaded my personal boundaries sometimes, and while I agree I found this highly distressful as a child / adolescent, she is still a loving person who cared for me and my siblings as best as she could and without absolving us of any responsibility for our actions (rather the opposite). And let's not forget my father, whose calm and steady advice I could rely upon until the day he died and who actually believed in me. So: My family may not be perfect, but generally I would consider myself as very lucky for having (had) this kind of support system, and I would have to completely disagree if someone tried to tell them that they are in any way to blame for my history of depression, anxiety, self-harm or ED (all of which they aren't aware of, except for the ED, and I intend to keep it that way).
Second, and that is my main point, I find your evaluation of 'girl with an eating disorder's character (for that is what it is, no men, no grown women) highly disturbing. Even though at the end you call them 'courageous', my overall impression is that somehow you see these individuals (and I guess I ought to include myself here) as irresponsible, manipulating, weak and irrational. This, in my opinion, is a very damning assessment and I can only say that, had I had the good luck to end up with you as a therapist, I would not only refuse to apply it to myself, but also therapy altogether.
Yes, I may suffer from depression and ED, yes, there may be pain that I cannot always identify, yes, I may be hard to by around sometimes, but: No, I do not manipulate people into caring for me, I take responsibility for my actions and my life, I've just finished my MA, I'm involved in theatre and charity work, I was a first-year tutor at university, I've spent one-and-ahalf years abroad, I've been in a steady relationship for five years, my friends seem to get along with and I don't impose myself or my whims on them or my family at all times, and except for my mood and my relation to food I would consider myself not out of the ordinary in any way. I certainly do see myself as the helpless and deceptive little girl that you portray. I am a person, with a history, with interests and passions and dislikes and opinions, I am not a vessel that has to be either filled, broken or shattered. I can learn, develop, trust, love and reject, no one has to pick up my pieces, glue them together and paint me hir favourite colours.
Excuse me if this commentary is getting rather long-winded or personal – by no means do I mean to insult you – but I am still furious. I really am. And I would have to agree with Anne: Proper treatment, first and foremost, is FOOD. When I started eating, forced myself not to throw up or starve (and yeah, how I wish I still lived close enough to my family for them to help me through this) and begun taking antidepressants (and isn't it funny they took away the urge to starve or purge for the most part?), I finally found the strength to go through all the applications, etc. for inpatient treatment.
Please don't pigeonhole us into being helpless, damaged children or nasty little (excuse me) bitches. For that is what this article sounded like to me, and I would hate for people to leave with the impression that we're not suffering from a disease (or disorder), but that we as a person are somehow diseased or disordered. I need support in how to get along with the world, in how to live as who I am – I certainly don't need to bend over backwards to become anyone other than who I already am.
Thank you for listening, and I sincerely hope you took no offense.
Hi there!
I too suffer from eating disorders, for 34 years now. I do not agree that the issue is "food." I believe eating disorders are psychological disorders and that it's very important to get to the underlying, psychological root cause for them. I believe it's about "control" and "coping," not "food." I believe my eating disorders are a "disease," something that I will always have to be aware of - no different from the alcoholism that I am recovering from. My eating disorders are just another addiction, another form of "acting out" and being "self-destructive," whether consciously or unconsciously.
As for being a "damaged child," well I was. And even though I'm now 46 years old, I am still that same little girl inside that I've always been. That is reality. We are all who we were as children (our inner child). And I was a indeed a very emotionally "damaged" child.
There is nothing "simple" about any eating disorder. All eating disorders are very complicated. If you go to Joanna's site, you'll see that she has many, many articles and lots of diverse information posted there - from every angle, not just her post on this site. I encourage everyone reading this to check out her site and see what she is really all about! Please do not judge her until you do.
Peace and Blessings to All,
Shelley
To the 26 year old woman who posted such an articulate and heart felt reply, you are a courageous, wonderful young woman.
Kudos to you!
I sense that some of these therapists rely on making their living by KEEPING women IN therapy for a very long time ... by feeding into the misguided "family is the fault" concept that I hoped had died with the dark ages (but apparently not).
I can tell you that Joanna Poppink is definitely not one of those "therapists relying on making their living by KEEPING women IN therapy for a very long time........" I believe that most all therapists go into the field because they want to help people - not because they want to make a lot of money (just like any other profession that helps others).
Joanna maintains a wonderful website devoted to helping those who suffer from eating disorders, and those who love them. She has tons of useful and helpful information on her site that help people world-wide! I know this takes a very big part of her time - and she does not get paid for it.
Her life is devoted to those who suffer, to assist them in any way she can to help them to overcome their eating disorders, and to assist those who love them. I know that she is not "in it for the money." It is her calling in life, and she has decades of experience.
She has personally helped me tremendously, many times over - and I live on the other side of the country from her.
Healing Love and Light,
Shelley
Joanna,
In one of your posts, above, you say that "brain structure physically changes during deep psychotherapy," and you cite to Allan Schore.
I have researched Schore's work and don't see that he has studied anorexia nervosa or other eating disorders. Why, then, cite him as an authority on treating these illnesses? It makes no sense.
Second, assuming that "deep psychotherapy" does in fact change physical brain structure, why assume that it's for the better? How do you know that in the case of anorexia nervosa it doesn't do more harm than good?
How do you know that it's not like going into the brain blindly with a scalpel? If you wanted to change brain structure with a pharmaceutical drug, you would need to prove to FDA that the drug was both safe and effective. If you want to alter someone's brain structure with your brand of psychotherpy, however, you don't need to prove either. Do you inform your patients and their families that you are conducting experiments on them, using untested methods? Have you done peer reviewed long-term outcome studies on your patients and their families?
Informed consent and systematic study of treatment models are standard procedure for the treatment of all other illnesses. Why don't sufferers from eating disorders deserve the same?