December 2, 2008

ASK

Tina T

Has monogamy failed?

ASKED by Tina T on February 26, 2008 - 9:40am

Dr. Marty Klein, a well-known author, counselor and sex expert (Watch for exclusive EmpowHer.com video in the next day or two.) says monogamy has failed. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

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alison b

It will be interesting to hear Dr. Klein talk about monogamy, as there are several types of monogamy, typically discussed with young adults (18-25 year), but also includes older adults as well.

Monogamy is defined either as:
#1: being married to only one person at a time
#2: marrying only once in a lifetime

I don't know what you think...but those sound like VERY different situations to me! :-) And, for those who are not legally able to become married, "monogamous" as I discuss it is defined as "having one sexual partner at a time".

The above definitions assume “mutual monogamy”, where both partners are committed to a long-term relationship without another sexual partner at the same time. Unfortunately, the term “monogamy” needs the qualifying word “mutual” because one person in the relationship may be exclusive; the other may not be.

“Serial monogamy” is another phrase referred to when discussing sexual health. Serial monogamy includes short- and long-term relationships with a person whom you are exclusive or "monogamous" with. Then, that relationship ends, and another relationship begins. Serial monogamy can provide the illusion that the couple is being safe: when a couple feels that they are being monogamous, they may choose to not use condoms after a period of time, because they are not sexually active with anyone else. The problem? The relationship ends after a relatively short period of time (weeks…months…even a year…), a new relationship is started, and then the new couple becomes monogamous, and decides not to use condoms. Each time this happens, the individuals are putting themselves at risk for contracting an STI (sexually transmitted infection).

So, it will be interesting to hear a sex expert talk about these different factors of sexuality and relationships!

(oh--just a side note: the term “STD” or “sexually transmitted disease” is no longer used, as some of the infections do not necessarily become diseases.)

alysiak

While reading Allison's very informative comment, the words that popped into my head were, "Love the one you're with," from the Crosby, Stills and Nash song (boy, have I dated myself!). I find it a bit disturbing that we have to approach this question as a matter of semantics.

Yes, it will be interesting to hear what Dr. Klein has to day.

BTW = whatever happened to Dr. Ruth?

Sidebar: here's the CNN story on the "Dr. Ruth" of the Arab world, Dr. Heba Kotb http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/04/25/muslim.sextalk/index.html

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