Date rape is also called acquaintance rape or hidden rape. It involves being subjected to unwanted sexual contact (intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact) through the use of force or the threat of force. The victim knows the rapist, and the act often occurs on a date.

Date rape cannot always be prevented. However, there are things you can do to reduce your risk of being raped on a date.

Know potential warning signs.

It is not possible to know exactly which men will rape in a dating situation. Date rapists are usually not psychopaths or people who deviate from mainstream society. Research suggests that certain characteristics may increase a man’s risk of committing rape. Be alert for men who:

  • Show hostile attitudes toward women
  • Do not listen to you, forcefully interrupt, or talk over you
  • Do not respect your personal space
  • Act extremely possessive
  • Pressure you into doing things sexually
  • Drink or take drugs often
  • Ignore your wishes and do what they want
  • Show anger easily toward women

Avoid alcohol intoxication or drug use.

Up to 75% of men and 55% of women are drunk or using drugs during date rape. People under the influence of alcohol and drugs have impaired judgment. They tend to be less likely to view unwanted sexual activity as rape.

Be alert for the use of date rape drugs.

Two drugs have become known as date rape drugs: rohypnol and GHB. Rohypnol is also known as flunitrazepam, and GHB or gamma-hydroxybutyrate is marketed as the drug Xyrem for the treatment of narcolepsy. Both can easily be slipped into alcoholic drinks. These drugs (also known as roofies, rophies, roche, and the forget-me pill) act as a sedative. They can incapacitate a person and prevent him or her from resisting sexual assault. These drugs have no taste or odor. You cannot always know if Rophynol has been slipped into your drink. However, the following tips may help reduce the chances of this happening:

  • If you accept a drink, make sure it is in a sealed bottle or can.
  • Do not accept a drink in a glass, cup, or open container.
  • Keep your drink in your hand at all times. Do not put it down.

Do not put yourself in a vulnerable position.

Avoid situations and locations where rape is more likely to occur. If you do not know the person well, arrange to meet in a public setting for your first few dates. Make sure there are other people around. Go on a group date or meet a group of friends. Provide your own transportation. Do not invite the person to your home or go to that person’s home.

Be clear about what you want.

Be clear about how far you are willing to go sexually in a new dating situation. Try to socialize with people who share the same values. Someone who is more sexually permissive than you might think you share the same values. Do not fall for lines such as “if you loved me, you would.” Your partner should respect your feelings and wait until you are ready.

Communicate clearly.

Do not send mixed messages to your date. Be clear and firm about what you are comfortable doing. Trust your feelings and be assertive. Say no. If your date does not listen or makes you uncomfortable, leave the situation or ask the person to leave. Protest loudly, if necessary. Do not worry about hurt feelings.

Defend yourself, if necessary.

If all else fails and the situation gets out of control, do not panic.

  • Look for a way to divert your date and escape.
  • Assert yourself and fight back, if you can do so safely.
  • If the person has a weapon, try to stay calm and use common sense.
  • Try to talk the person out of it. Show empathy and understanding.