The reason for writing my memoir A Dozen Invisible Pieces and Other Confessions of Motherhood
I am the mother of three young children. Motherhood hasn't exactly come easily to me. Some of this may have to do with my personality, but most of it has to do with being extremely under supported by the community and culture in which I live.
I worked as a Physician Assistant prior to becoming a mom. Having finally made the decision to table my pre-children career--mostly due to the displeasure I experienced again and again with the very industry in which I had been trained to work, I now teach Childbirth Preparation classes on a part time basis, write for my local parenting magazine, and care for my children as a full time stay-at-home parent.
Having experienced what seemed like an inordinate number of challenges in my first few years as a mom, and during the bed rest period that encompassed the last trimester of our third child's pregnancy, I began to put my frustrations, confusions, and journey toward understanding in writing. 2 1/2 years later, A Dozen Invisible Pieces and Other Confessions of Motherhood (Cold Tree Press) was released.
Because I want to reveal the truths about our medical industry and how those truths can sometimes undermine the work we do as parents, I have made this a recurrent theme in my book. My hope is that mine, and my family's stories will provoke thought, laughter and tears in the readers who happen to pick it up...and most of all, a dialog that prompts improvement and change in the way our culture (medical, or otherwise) supports the work we do as women and mothers.
Kimmelin Hull
author of A Dozen Invisible Pieces and Other Confessions of Motherhood
Comments
Thank you! Your post speaks directly to the mission of EmpowHer.com. Can you share with us some of inordinate number of challenges you faced as a mother? I think other women have much to learn from you.
Tina,
I'm sorry for the delay in responding to your request. I typed my response out once, inadvertantly navigated away from the site before hitting "submit", and here I am, now almost a week later, trying for a second time!
The details of the challenges unique to me in early motherhood are depicted throughout my book, "A Dozen Invisible Pieces." But, as an overview, I have to say since entering motherhood for the first time, now over five years ago, I have found myself constatntly battling against the medical system that is supposed to be in place to HELP and SUPPORT us--a system I used to be a part of as a physician assistant.
Our daughter was an extremely colicky infant. It took us FIVE MONTHS to find a pediatrician that would listen to my story--and believe that our daughter's anguish was not just run-of -the-mill colic, but acid reflux that was causing her endless hours of crying. It wasn't until I had researched enough information, and knocked on enough doors that she was finally treated properly--and finally became consolable.
During my second pregnancy,I suffered a slow amniotic fluid leak that my doctor and several nurses refused to believe was truly happening. Five days after I initially reported this to my doctor, I endured an extremely intense labor induction with the threat of a c-section because our son's heart rate kept dropping...due to a severe lack of amniotic fluid.
Two of our three children have experienced excessive diarrhea--our middle son, from the time he turned one, until well after his third birthday--and it took us visiting 12 different health care providers who all put our son through various tests, procedures, elimination diets, medications, supplements, etc. -most of them eventually reverting to the claim that he had "toddler's diarhea, and nothing else could be done." (I had a gastroenterologist tell me I was "probably feeding my son TOO WELL. And that, if I fed him more meat & potatoes his diarrhea would probably go away.")But again, it was through my diligence in research and persistence that we found the right combination of supplements and dietary components before his (and his younger brother's) symptoms started to abate.
My last pregnancy was very similar. A host of complications (prenatal depression, preterm labor, another amniotic fluid leak) left me battling to get my symptoms taken seriously - and convince my doctor that it was not "all in my head".
What I've learned through all this is that no one else will advocate for my children, my family, or myself better than I can. If I'm not willing to keep knocking on doors, be the squeaky wheel, and refuse to accept "no" or "we can't do any better", then no one will be doing that for our family.
A woman's intuition is extremely strong. I teach this to my Childbirth Preparation class students all the time. And, please don't get me wrong: I am NOT completely anti-medical establishment. In my former work as a PA, I did have the opportunity to work with some fantastic health care providers. But WE know our bodies better than anyone else does. And as mothers, we know our children better than anyone else does. If we aren't willing to be advocates for ourselves and our families...who will?
Kimmelin Hull, PA, LCCE
author of A Dozen Invisible Pieces and Other Confessions of Motherhood
Thanks for writing---I think all of us new moms can relate! I also worked in the medical field for some time, and am not anti-medicine by any means, but am constantly trying to find the balance of traditional vs. alternative vs. complimentary medicine.
I'm sorry it took SO many doctor visits to find out what your children's conditions were. Just to be devil's advocate for a moment (I haven't read your book, and this is just from your post, for the benefit of other readers), I had two questions after reading your post:
1. Did you need to see so many doctors because the conditions were difficult to diagnose, or were there that many doctors who were not listening and blowing you off?
2. Who finally diagnosed your children? Was it medical doctors practicing traditional medicine, or did you find a practitioner in complimentary or alternative medicine?
Thanks!!!! I really look forward to hearing more about your experiences, and hope you comment on some of our parenting posts..your insight will be invaluable!
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