Improvement in my OCD: A Personal Account Continued
Medication didn’t seem to be doing the trick in my treatment for obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). A pill, different from the I had been taking, in very small dosages, had been proposed, but I have yet to take it. That’s not to say I never will, but not at the moment.
I have seen some signs of improvement in my OCD, but not huge ones. I do not obsess over a supposed ailment as long as I used to and I try to think in terms of a "what is the worst thing that could happen" scenario. When I think like that, I realize that the worst thing that could happen would not be the end of the world.
I believe putting things in perspective is a sign of a healthy mind.
When you have a mental disorder, things are out of perspective; what is red becomes blue, and what is green becomes purple. Like I said in another article, the OCD mind screams “Fire!” when there is none. Enter perspective, a key component for a calmed down state of mind.
My small steps indicate slow, but steady progress; however, not without regression. I try not to get discouraged, so when I feel that I have avoided an OCD episode, I have learned to compliment myself. My shrink has given me some compliments, and I always feel that she is eager to hear about progress I have made. When I tell her about an incident where I fell back on that road to getting better, I kind of study her face to see her real, true, authentic reaction.
I tell you, she really never looks that disappointed when she listens to the setbacks, her face is serious. There are times when I don’t want to tell her about the regressions, but I do, and then there are times when I just don’t tell her.
The therapeutic road isn’t an easy one.
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Add a Comment2 Comments
Zelda,
Congratulations on your progress. It may sometimes seem small to you, but I know it's really huge.
I think the most important thing you are doing is being able to "catch" yourself at the beginning of some of those OCD episodes before they take over. That is a big deal, because so many times we are on the anxiety rollercoaster before we ever even realize it.
I'm glad you tell her about the setbacks as well as the progress. That tells me you're putting your desire for help above any sort of need for approval. I know that's hard, I'm in therapy myself. Good work.
April 29, 2010 - 8:28amThis Comment
It was hard for me to learn to give myself credit for any progress I made. My therapist reminds me that my progress didn't just happen, that I've been working to make it happen. That still seems an odd concept to me, but I'm getting better at it. He also thinks it's positive when I notice I'm having a set-back--that if I can't see it, I can't change it.
April 29, 2010 - 11:36am