Do You Like it Rough?
The fact that most of you will know what I’m talking about from the title of this article goes to show that the concept of “rough sex” isn’t confined to just the bondage and S&M subset. The phrase most often describes the act of a male thrusting his penis forcefully during intercourse, but can also refer to an action by either partner involving pain or discomfort (pulling hair, grabbing body parts, slapping, etc.).
Many would consider these activities to be reserved exclusively for the BDSM genre, but the fact that they often occur in otherwise “normal” or “vanilla” sexual relationships means that they can’t be considered just a minority behavior.
Some women choose to explore alternative lifestyles in the bedroom; this article is not directed toward them, and is not intended to be a critique of the BDSM lifestyle. This is about women who find themselves engaged in what could be considered as rough sex - when they never asked to.
Why do so many men enjoy rough sex? Anyone who’s ever been manually stimulated by a man knows the answer to this question. When men masturbate, the prevailing rule is “the harder the better.” The more they stroke, pull, and thrust, the closer they get to orgasm.
Women are the exact opposite. According to Heather Corinna, director and founder of the sexual reference website Scarleteen.com, “There are more sensory nerve endings in the clitoris (which is larger than the external portion you can see) than there are in any other body part or organ of either men or women.” Possessing such a sensitive body part means that we can achieve orgasm through MUCH less tactile means - in fact, too much stimulation can be uncomfortable and even painful for women.
Throughout college, sex was almost always painful for me. College boys lacked the experience to determine when they were going to fast or too deep, and I lacked the confidence to tell them. As a result, I would bleed for days from vaginal tears and suffer from a swollen clitoris and labia.
We value and respect the experiences of all of our HERWriters, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.
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