Is Public Breastfeeding Offensive?
There are always situations that you cannot control. Last weekend, I found myself in a situation that left me to choose between two things, neither ideal for myself or strangers around me. I had less than 15 minutes to decide which option was least offensive to others.
It was a family weekend. My husband, myself, and our three young sons were enjoying a day together. We had stopped for lunch and were getting on the new light rail train to treat our boys to a “train ride” downtown to the Science Center. The older two boys giggled with excitement as the train got closer to where we were waiting. As it came to a stop, our family, along with a crowd of strangers behind us, all crowded onto the small compartment.
I had our baby in the stroller and couldn’t go up the stairs to the raised level, where the majority of the empty seats were. So my husband and I split up. He took our older two boys up the stairs to sit down and I stayed standing, holding the stroller and protecting it from rolling. The baby was interested in our new surroundings for only a couple of minutes before he began fussing and twisting in his stroller, trying to grab the shiny silver train handles. I frantically blocked his tiny, chubby hands as my mind imagined all the people that had touched the handles before us and where their hands may have been before that. He was growing impatient as I searched for empty seats.
Thankfully, the train stopped and a few people got off, leaving a vacant seat. I quickly moved towards it. I sat down, freed the baby from his stroller and held him on my lap as I tightened my feet around the wheels of the stroller to brace it from rolling. This pacified him for a moment. "Not so bad," I tried to reassure myself. But who was I kidding? The more the baby fussed, the more I realized what the problem was. He was hungry and by holding him, he was close enough to my body to be constantly reminded that it was time to have his milk.
I was now beginning to feel sweat beading up on the back of my neck, causing my hair to stick to it. My face felt flushed. Is the air conditioning on? I was HOT and SWEATY!
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Add a Comment26 Comments
Public breastfeeding is only offensive if you also find it offensive to see someone drinking a coffee or eating an apple (and with some people's manners, I'd rather see someone breastfeeding! )
I have heard the argument time and time again that going to the bathroom is also natural, but certainly private, right? I'm aghast at why anyone could compare peeing in a toilet to breastfeeding and I also take exception to being asked to feed my baby in a toilet stall. How utterly gross is that? Why on earth do we continually make the connection between breastfeeding and toileting?
I breastfed in public only when I had to, simply because I like the privacy, sweetness and bond between baby and me. I don't like to eat in really noisy, fast restaurants myself so I didn't like my baby to either. But there were times when baby needed to eat and I could not make the several hours trip back home or I was on a plane/overseas etc.
I also hear the argument that women "whip their boobs out" to nurse and I have never seen that happen (I have seen drunk women and teens do it at bars though but this gets cheers, not jeers). The vast majority of women know that breasts are sexual as well as functional and we act accordingly. I have, however, seen many a person with their enormous muffin tops hanging off their too tight jeans, their breasts displayed in a solely sexual manner in public and I have also seen many women in tight leggings and tube tops (I live in the Midwest, what can I say?) and said tight leggings and tube tops wouldn't fit a 5 year old, nevermind a...curvy lady... who should know better. Now this I find offensive!
A mom feeding her baby in a dignified and natural manner? If this is offensive the problem lies with the person offended, not the mom and certainly not the little baby. We have sexualized women's bodies to such an extent that if breasts are actually used for their main purpose, we get offended! But we seem to have no problem with young teen girls dressing like street walkers and their moms buying it all for them - and dressing like that too!
Ai ai ai!
April 17, 2009 - 12:32pmThis Comment
If my bottlefed chlid can eat in public then why is your breastfed child forced to eat in a dirty bathroom? I mean, don't get me wrong if YOU don't want to BF in public then don't, but don't make it sound like it is a horrible thing for other mothers to BF in public.
April 17, 2009 - 3:32pmYou could have just put a blanket over your shoulder, likely no one would have been the wiser. I am not a fan of NIP, I do think it is rude and unseemly but it's better to have a woman discreetly BF under a cover than having to listen to a hungry baby crying.
April 17, 2009 - 4:33pmBreastfed infants are entitled to eat like a formula fed baby or an adult.
Nursing with a blanket is actually more complicated than it appears, particularly with a newborn and as a new mother. I gave that up quickly.
Grown people need to put aside their fetish with breasts as sexual playthings.
Putting restrictions on breastfeeding makes a woman less likely to initiate or continue breastfeeding which is detrimental both to her health and the health of the child.
April 17, 2009 - 7:37pmWhat an odd choice.Why would someone choose the comfort of strangers that they've never met before and will never meet again, while at the same time staring at your child who's obviously screaming and uncomfortable(hungry)? That just makes no sense to me. If it's a question of my child vs. strangers.. my kid wins .. hands down every time. If it meant I had to streak naked through the mall, I would. He's my son. His needs come first. I couldn't stand there and watch him scream and do nothing. Sorry.I'm tempted to say you chose the wrong choice, but I guess that's your decision to make and every mother has the right to make their own decisions.. but I know I wouldn't have done that.
April 17, 2009 - 9:12pmYour comments are judgmental and, some might say, "offensive". You "guess" it's her decision? It's her child, her body AND, yes, her decision. I'm guessing the child was not permanently damaged, physically or emotionally, because he had to wait 15 minutes to eat. Unless you have additional facts that are not available to the rest of us, I would suggest stating your opinion on THE TOPIC in a way that does not suggest the writer is a neglectful parent.
April 20, 2009 - 1:09pmI am a man & I have seen women breastfeed. I don’t get offended. The only people who might be offended are SOME OF the religious conservatives, but as Newsweek has reported, they are declining. People who get offended need to go in a time machine back to Puritan days. Some people might watch a little but remember people look at anything different.
April 18, 2009 - 7:40amIt is your choice but I think a crying baby is more irritating then a happy baby.
What I understand less than the offense people take to feeding in public is the absolute FIT women throw when it comes to breastfeeding in a restroom. Your baby won't know the difference nor will the baby get sick. Restrooms even provide you access to water and paper towels for easy clean up after the meal. If a woman has a choice between breastfeeding in front of a group of people of mixed company and breastfeeding 10 feet away in a restroom, I would expect her to have the decency and respect for others to go to the restroom. Breastfeeding makes people feel uncomfortable and awkward, and it isn't the job of the masses to accommodate your irrational fear of restrooms when it is a completely reasonable option to take. Honestly, it sounds like a lot of whining for no other reason than "I'm a woman--I am entitled and you can't tell me what to do!" When I have kids, I'll choose the restroom whenever possible.
Now if you're stuck on a train or a similar situation, I can understand completely as would most others.
April 18, 2009 - 10:22amOne doesn't need water or paper towels to clean up after nursing - there is nothing to clean - I'm not sure what you mean regarding that.
The issue with restrooms is that most don't have seats or chairs. We surely would not ask a woman to sit on a public toilet seat (with no arm rests) and try to balance a nursing infant for 30 minutes - surely not! And that is, in fact, highly unsanitary. Public restrooms are usually, unfortunately, rather dirty, smelly places.
My claim has nothing to do with my 'rights' or whining. I don't see breastfeeding as anything that particularly needs a woman to leave the room although I usually chose to go to a room for privacy as I preferred it that way.
We all need to relax a little regarding breastfeeding. It's such a normal part of life, I don't understand why anyone - a person nursing, or a person around a person nursing - gets upset about the whole thing. Unless I have to sit on a toilet seat to nurse a baby that is. That ain't happening!
I agree that it's not the job of the masses to accommodate a breastfeeding mom or baby, but nor is it the mom or baby's job to remove themselves in order to accommodate irrational and unfounded notions about breasts.
It's just breasts and breastfeeding, folks. Free our minds a little! In the whole scheme of life, and all that it entails, it's just not a big thing.
April 18, 2009 - 10:39amI am not a Mother but I have seen several women breast feed in public and it is only offensive if you see the whole chest area. Most women I see are pretty discreet about feeding time and unless your looking hard enough, you cannot see what she is really doing.
There is no time or place when a child is hungry and the women most certainly cannot control the food flow, so I think that breast feeding in public is fine. In reality, it is the way of life. We all cannot expect women to stay in their homes until they are done breast feeding just so they wouldn't have to do it in public, right?
Women can be discreet and the people that are offended could look the other way. I think there are more disturbing things on television that people can be offended by, not the joys of motherhood.
April 18, 2009 - 10:58am