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Another benefit of not having children is that you won't have to worry about losing friends due to having children. Though this might not be the case for many women, there is still that slight chance.
In fact, many articles I've read give that as a cost to having children. It's understandable, considering most of the time after childbirth is spent taking care of the child and spending time with a significant other, if there is one. Married couples with children tend to be focused on their children and work. This doesn't leave a lot of social time, so friendships might suffer. One article from Canadian Family explains how one mom lost her best friend due to not having any time for a social life with three kids. One kid allowed some freedom, but she says her friendship went downhill after that, and now she really only has mothers as friends. An article in Cosmopolitan says the same thing about friendships taking a blow when one friend has a baby and the other doesn't.
Though there are many benefits of not having children, there are costs as well. One obvious cost is that if all women decided to not have children, there would eventually be no younger people left and, eventually, no people. This would take quite a while, but you get the point. There needs to be enough women reproducing to make up for the deaths, but anything more isn't truly necessary. In a couple blogs on The New York Times' Web site that related to the recent climate talks, there is mention of the problem of overpopulation at the global level, not underpopulation, so it seems there is no need to worry.
Costs of not having children can be plentiful as well, though I am only giving two in this article. The other personal cost that I have seen is that if a woman decides not to have children, it may be much harder to find a man who shares the same view. Though not all women want or need relationships, many women end up being in relationships. At a certain age when a woman is with someone she intends to marry, the subject of children will eventually come up. If the significant other demands children, but the woman doesn't want any, that is a major difficulty in any relationship. Dale Baker, a 60-year old professor at Arizona State University, says her marriage ended with the help of her mother-in-law's insistence upon her having children. "My mother-in-law, father-in-law and husband thought my graduate studies were a hobby and that my education would make me a better mother," Baker says. However, Baker's current significant other is perfectly fine with having no more children, as he already has two of his own, and she says he found life with children "intolerable." They both enjoy the peace, quiet, order and privacy that children do not bring with them.
After discussing reasons women don't want children and some pros and cons, there is also the view society has on women who don't have children. After reading different articles, looking at comments and discussion boards, I have found a lot of support for women who decide not to have children. However, I have also found a lot of hate and negative views on women who don't want to have children.
There still seems to be the perception that a woman's purpose is to make children and take care of the house and cook and that's it. Many still have not realized that there is now some equality between the genders. Many women have careers just as men do, and in many households the chores are split. With this recent equality, women now have the choice to use contraception and prevent pregnancy, and a lot of them have chosen the child-free way. Some posts and comments I've read say that women who don't have children are selfish, cold, will change their mind, are evil, are missing something, etc. The list goes on, but most of the comments are uninformed and show an old, traditional viewpoint.
Though society's viewpoint is still mixed on the matter of women who don't want children, the consensus should be this: those who want children can have them, and those who don't want children don't need to have them. Neither should be condemned for their choice. Baker says that "having children should be the responsibility of those who want children and will be good parents, not an obligation that all women must fulfill."
Sources:
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/story.html?id=1871401
http://www.canadianfamily.ca/articles/article/how-lose-friend-9-months/
http://www.enchantedself.com/cosmo-feb09.pdf
http://greeninc.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/22/population-growth-and-global-warming/
http://dotearth.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/12/16/the-missing-p-word-in-climate-talks/
Add a Comment1 Comments
Men are far more reluctant to have children than women. A study in Germany showed that the average (german) man wants only 1,56children, while the women on average hope for 1,74 children. Moreover, far more men stay childfree than women. The same study found that only 14,6 per cent of the female population says they don`t want children at all, while impressive 26,3 per cent of all men say they don't want to procreate ever. In most relationships it's the woman who wants children and tries to influence her partner, and many men just agree to do their spouses a favor. Hence, it shouldn't be a problem for a childfree woman to find a man with a childfree lifestyle. Many men will be more than happy to escape their girlfriends` annoying baby-phantasies.
a man
January 12, 2010 - 12:20pmThis Comment