Taking a pregnancy test and anticipating the results is an impacting, life-defining moment for me. In the moment that I sit and stare at the small plastic stick, I wait to find out if my life is different than it was just minutes before. Each time, my hands sweat, my heart pounds and I wait, knowing, that if that stick tells me yes, then everything has changed.
I have given birth to three children. Three times my pregnancy tests have been positive. The last time was our biggest surprise and this is the story of how it happened. My husband and I were happy. Married for six years and we had two wonderful boys ages four and two. We discussed the idea of another child but finally decided that we were happy with our family of four.
Naturally I went to visit my OB. When asked the typical question, “When was your last cycle?” I remembered that I had skipped the previous month. It did not alarm me because I have always been lucky enough to have light cycles, some months almost non-existent. I wasn’t worried. But I did have a complaint for my doctor, I was experiencing cramping, something that I thought was caused by my birth control pill. He agreed to give me samples of new pills but told me that was not a typical side effect. He told me that if I didn’t get a period in the next week or so that I should take a test.
So, as I sit in the exam room, vulnerable in my paper robe, I am thinking, “What kind of test he is talking about?? I can’t be pregnant, I am on the pill.” He sees my dumbfounded look and tells me, “Remember, the pill is not 100% effective.” I keep hearing the words over and over in my head. I get dressed. Not 100% effective. I walk to my car. Not 100% effective. I drive home. Not 100% effective. Then I tell myself, it just can’t be. I am unsure if I am terrified or excited. I don’t want to be disappointed so I stop thinking about it. I mention it briefly to my husband and we laugh together. There is no way, or so we think.
About a week goes by and I decide to take a test. I wait for an opportunity to be able to be in the bathroom without someone knocking at the door.