What happens when “not tonight” becomes never?
This is a possibility all women face regardless of our feelings about a particular partner or sex itself. Our libidos are fragile things, at times raging and persistent, at other times barely a flicker.
But don’t worry; there are many reasons for loss of sex drive and the sooner you identify the cause, the quicker you can begin to identify a treatment or even cure.
One of the most cited causes of libido loss is stress. We know stress is a terrible thing and its elimination is the subject of many books; however, ridding ourselves of all stressors is nearly impossible. What we can do is identify stressors and learn how to more effectively deal with them. Upping your coping skills will reduce the stress you actually experience and give you more mechanisms for lifting your libido.
Sometimes a waning libido is tied to internal functions rather than external forces. A hormonal imbalance could affect desire for sex. Plunging progesterone levels during pre-menopause or even the wrong birth control pill can slow your sex drive. For these biological culprits, consult your doctor. He or she can recommend healthy ways to stabilize hormone levels.
Another treatment you might consider is seeing a sex therapist. This type of therapy is exclusively talking therapy. For those wary of physiologically altering prescription drugs, this may be an ideal possibility for investigating the possible causes of libido loss.
This is not a hopeless situation. You don’t have to accept this condition as just a part of aging or a condition of womanhood. You’re entitled to a healthy libido no matter what.