I smoked crystalmeth off/on 5 years of my life, I wasn't a typical user, i stayed hygenic and engaged healthy habits and lifestyles otherwise. sober now, I live a half life because of weight that won't budge, lack of cns stimulation?, i am never energetic,so uninspired. i don't have any feelings of fullfillment at least that i recognize or happiness when i should. My work, relationships, everything is suffering. I can't seem to find a way to be the me that I was before. I quit meth on my own, not many people were or are aware i used it, i didn't like it but once i stopped i kept going back to get rid of excessive weight i gained from quitting until i realized i can't have what i want, to lose the weight, and to be able to quit without wait gain back. And i tried so hard to keep from gaining back but the will power, everything that makes life good and natural healthy rewards your body gives you are gone. i can't do meth again, but it seems like the only way my life will have meaning or quality ever again and i know that i am wrong and i hope you can help me. i have been excersing, eating well, engaging my daughter more cause i can see now i haven't been and she has suffered,but it is really something that my guilt reminds me to do and that wasn't the way it was before.