Ever since the hit HBO television series 'BIg Love' hit the bedrooms and living rooms of Americans, there has been a judgmental, curious and downright fascinated buzz about polygamy. When a man chooses more than one woman not only to marry but to raise children with and share a life with, things get complex and, not only is it an alternative lifestyle, it can seem to have the feel of an alternative dimension.
If any of you have not had the opportunity to watch this show I'll keep it shrouded in mystery for you, but I will uncover the fact that, yes, the wives have rotating nights with their husband and, yes, there is in-fighting, jealousy and bickering and, yes, the characters do all seem quite as miserable, confused, betrayed and stressed out as any couple does in a more traditional dysfunctional relationship.
I myself have never met anyone personally in this type of plural marriage situation, so all I have going for me is a superficial sense of it based on a television series. However, from my experience with human relations, it appears to me that we are under utilizing our fantasy muscle in the bedroom. If indeed you are in a monogamous relationship and would like to keep it that way, bringing fantasies of others into your sex life while remaining true to your life partner can really work to diffuse some temptation not only to cheat, but to continually look for a back door exit to your relationship. No matter how you slice it, people are quite complicated. Adding another person to your already complicated relationship will undoubtedly make things even more confusing than they may be already. Some critics have pointed to deep unhappiness among wives in polygamous marriages and that men do it as an excuse to be adulterous. Please see the following link for more on this.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plural_marriage
While I have never been in a plural marriage, I have been exposed to the complexities of "cheating" in every way imaginable, and, as may be expected, it is not worth the trouble.
In the heat of the moment, of course, caution may get flung to the far reaches of the stratosphere. However, as we grow and mature as women, I propose bringing our images not only of our own adulterous urges but those of our partner as well right along with us into the bedroom.
You don't even have to talk about all of these fantasies (although if it feels non-threatening to both of you it may be fun to talk about some of them) - but simply keeping them in your mind as you turn yourself and your lover into others; perhaps other parts of yourselves, and meet in a dark alley, and sneak into each others' arms in a hotel room, and kiss madly in the elevator before the doors open...keeping these thoughts and feelings burning and alive will fuel your sexual spark, keep you feeling desirable and hot, and allow you to stay true all at the same time.