We feel such promise in a new year. We have a fresh slate, a clean year in which we think we can accomplish anything. We often find ourselves making lists of resolutions, determined to almost be perfect in our determination to change. We will lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, spend quality time with the kids.
Sound at all familiar?
But then there comes the day, shortly into the New Year, we fail. We get stressed, and we smoke that cigarette, or we go off the diet. And we feel like the entire year ahead – that fresh start – is ruined. We had our chance and we blew it. Never mind.
So here’s the key. Don’t resolve to just do something beginning Jan. 1. Resolve to do something during 2010. Decide that you will accomplish it within the year, not just at the beginning of the year. And realize that you will slip up along the way. Decide now that it won't deter you when it happens.
Here’s some clear thinking about accomplishing those goals from a couple of people who have studied the subject. John Norcross, distinguished professor of clinical psychology at the University of Scranton in Pennsylvania, told ABC News that there are keys to being in the group of people who do accomplish their resolutions each year:
“Norcross studied people who, come December, had decided to make a change in their lives and tracked the success -- or failure -- of their resolutions for six months.
“He found that those who "made a public commitment instead of a private decision to change" before New Year's and were "genuinely confident that they could keep their resolution despite a few [inevitable] slips" were much more likely to succeed in the long run.
“Also, committing to and planning for a resolution ahead of time was essential. It made resolvers better prepared to put things into action.
“Early in the year, building in a healthy substitute for the bad behavior and arranging the environment to remove temptation were the key strategies of successful resolvers, Norcross found.
“The right attitude was also important: Those who rewarded their successes and avoided self-blame for slipups had resolutions with more staying power.
"Successful people had the same number of slips early in January as people who would ultimately be unsuccessful, but it was how one dealt with those slips" that mattered, he says.
Professor Richard Wiseman of the University of Hertfordshire in England followed the progress of 700 people who made New Year’s Resolutions. In the end, just 22 percent of the participants – which would be about 155 of the original 700 – met their goals or described their progress as “very successful.”
How can you make it into that 22 percent? Wiseman offers some reality-based advice in a Telegraph.co.uk story:
1) Make only one resolution; your chances of success are greater when you channel energy into changing just one aspect of your behaviour.
2) Don't wait until New Year's Eve to think about your resolution and instead devote some time a few days before to reflect upon what you really want to achieve.
3) Avoid previous resolutions; deciding to re-visit a past resolution sets you up for frustration and disappointment.
4) Don't run with the crowd and go with the usual resolutions. Instead think about what you really want out of life.
5) Break your goal into a series of steps, focusing on creating sub-goals that are concrete, measurable, and time-based.
6) Tell your friends and family about your goals, thus increasing the fear of failure and eliciting support.
7) Regularly remind yourself of the benefits associated with achieving your goals by creating a checklist of how life would be better once you obtain your aim.
8) Give yourself a small reward whenever you achieve a sub-goal, thus maintaining motivation and a sense of progress.
9) Make your plans and progress concrete by keeping a hand-written journal, completing a computer spreadsheet or covering a notice board with graphs or pictures.
10) Expect to revert to your old habits from time to time. Treat any failure as a temporary set-back rather than a reason to give up altogether.
TELL US: What about you? Is there one thing you truly want to accomplish this year? Have you failed at this resolution before? What will you do differently this year so you can do it once and for all?
The ABC News story:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/years-resolutions-survive-test-time/story?id=9404149
The Telegraph.co.uk story:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6895795/Key-to-keeping-New-Year-resolutions-revealed-by-psychologist.html