It's ten O' Clock, do you know where your children are? This is the old watch-dog slogan used when I was a young adult to impress responsibility upon the minds of allegedly lackadaisical parents who'd lost their grip, and their curfew rules, to allow their tweens and teens to run amok, or worse, be caught up in illicit and dangerous behavior. Now we don't have that reminder as often and many of us don't even feel comfortable letting our children play outside, particularly if we live in an urban environment.
On the upside, when it's ten o'clock, many of us DO, indeed, know where our children are, and on the downside, even on a Saturday night they're sometimes just sitting right there in the kitchen with their iPod thing asking for a late night serving of pigs in a blanket. With mustard.
So cute. So anti-drug. So very anti-romantic, too, though, for you and your significant other whether or not he's a live-in, your husband of 25 years, or just a date you happened to let come in for coffee. Heck yea, I know where my children are and it's really killing the mood!
There's a magical potion that goes into good and great sex that has to do with self-expression and is brewed deeply with connection, with chemistry. For those willing and able to try it, having hot, intense sex while making almost no noise at all can be deeply erotic and also allow you to take twenty minutes away from your adorable, safe children and still have your Saturday night/morning/quickie on a Thursday after-school-special.
It takes a little practice and a great deal of trust, but making silent love has its benefits. While dirty talk and high pitched moaning, little love words and oohs and aahhs are the stuff of delicious sex, silent sex has its own intensity bordering on the spiritual.
You can move but if it makes the bed creak it's too much.
You can whisper but if it becomes full voice it's too loud.
You can pant but if it turns into a moan, forget it.
This kind of game can spark an imaginative romp in which you try and bring each other as close to the brink as possible without so much as a sigh. Internalizing all that passion can cause stronger grips on the sheets, on each others' arms, more deeply involved kisses in which you breathe into one another's mouths, and so on. And on.
The silent movies of yesteryear may not be as immediately gratifying in some ways, but if you have a chance to watch one you will find yourself becoming more visually involved, more aware of every little nuance of movement, and slower.
The kids may be safely oblivious, snacking on sliced apples and reading for school. You can still take a break for a few minutes.
Aimee Boyle is a silent partner and freelance writer who writes a blog called http://straightandnarrow.yolasite.com