Space. The final frontier. To bravely go where no one has gone before. To leave him alone when he's busy. To ask to be left alone when you're tired. It almost feels wrong or irresponsible, as if when we bought the relationship handbook it told us we weren't allowed to have nothingness or scheduled nothingness as part of our union.
Sometimes we just want to be alone, or to be quiet. No words, no music, no decisions to make, no errands, no work, no exercise, no cooking, no laughing, no crying. We aren't angry or upset with our partners, we just want some down time and some space. Being able to ask for space without your partner feeling neglected, trampled upon or slighted can be a very delicate task. However, without space to breathe many unnecessary moments of misunderstanding and tension can ensue
Like meditation, which is an exercise in nothingness, giving your partner or yourself space can be beneficial in recharging your batteries so you can approach your lover with a fresh perspective and a deeper sense of peace.
In our culture, productivity is everything. However, it's healthy to give ourselves and our loved ones permission to do nothing, to say nothing, or just be alone without an agenda.
Aimee Boyle lives works and writes in CT