CNN is running a study to understand how children perceive race, and why.
Researchers showed pictures of animated children to over 130 participants from the East Coast and the South.
When asked which of the animated girls was “ugly” or “mean”, one 5 year old white child pointed to dark skinned cartoons. When asked which girl was “smart” she pointed to the white one. Her Mom shed tears as she watched.
But it’s not just white children with a bias toward lighter skinned people. Dark skinned children in the study also showed bias toward their lighter counterparts. Their bias was not as strong as the white kids but was noticeable nonetheless.
Researchers believe that the problem may be starting at home, particularly with white families. And not because of racist parents, but because the topic is simply not spoken of in many white families – at least not nearly as often as the topic of race is raised in black families. This makes sense on some levels, of course. Black families suffer more prejudice than whites so it’s an unfortunate fact that dark skinned parents may have to bring the topic up to their children so that they know in advance of possible future experiences of bias. Approximately 75% of darker skinned parents address race with their children. The same percentage of white parents do not discuss the topic at home.
Many light skinned parents have only good intentions. They don’t want to bring race up at all because they want their own children to be color-blind. To see only people, and never their color. The problem with this is that they don’t prepare their children for the reality that racism does exist. The ugly truth needs to be addressed, say experts. Many parents disagree and say they will have these discussions for several reasons, including fears of planting seeds of bias by merely doing so.
When my son was three, he openly referred to a boy in a waiting room as a “brown boy”. His mom ignored it and I sat cringing in my chair. Afterward, I told him that we don’t need to refer to people by their skin color, while bearing in mind that my then three -year- old was merely using color as a description, much like saying “the person in the red dress”. Tread carefully, I told myself. Make your point without making a big deal. But every parent, whatever their color, knows that sometimes the “Big Conversations” can be awkward. It’s not all an easy Sesame Street moment. Nevertheless, conversations need to happen, I'm told.
If the experts are correct, it’s time for me to make my kids notice race, in order to educate them about bias. And I fight it all the way, just like the 75% of white parents in the study.
I don’t want to ruin my childrens cultural bliss. They don’t know that darker skinned people (and women) are treated unequally when it comes to jobs, pay and even in healthcare. They just think people are people. And so they are. So why can’t we all just think like kids – before they are indoctrinated by us, by society, by the media and by each other, to think differently?
My three children are ages 6 and under. I’m not having this talk yet. Maybe I just want one more year of their guiltless perfection. I want them to know (as they do) that no-one is bad, good, pretty or ugly, smart or dumb – because of their race. I don’t want my children infected by racism. Right now they are virus –free. Protected by the vaccination known as innocence. And how we all hope our children remain this way forever.
The talk about everyone being equal no matter the race or gender has been covered by us. That part was easy. But like many parents, I don't quite know when or even how to tackle the topic of racism with my kids. Do I wait longer, or wait until they say something? What age is the right age? As other parents said, will I plant ugly seeds, that otherwise wouldn't have grown? Is this talk even necessary?
Are you a parent? How do you feel?
For more on this CNN study, click here: http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/05/18/doll.study.parents/index.html?hpt=P1&iref=NS1