“Um, yes?” was my hesitant answer as my new Nurse Practitioner (N.P.) asked if I wanted to see my own cervix during a Pap smear. No health care practitioner had ever asked before, and I actually didn't know it was an option. The N.P. propped me up to a sitting position with a few more pillows, and with the speculum already in, she gave me a hand mirror and showed me around. It was really interesting, and I had a newfound appreciation for my body. It wasn't gross or awkward; the N.P. seemed happy that she had “enlightened” another woman about her own body.
How would you react in that same situation? What are your feelings about your body in general, your genitals in particular? No matter where you are on the love-hate relationship spectrum with your external genitals (vulva), here are a few tips on moving closer to appreciating, and hopefully loving, your own body.
1. Be curious. Check out other vulvas! As the author of The Vagina Monologues, Eve Ensler said, there is a “secrecy surrounding vaginas”, and it creates insecurity among women. Stop the secrecy--half of the population has a vulva! Vulvas are walking around everywhere...going grocery shopping, watching movies, having sex. You can view true-to-life images of vulvas depicted non-sexually, including asymmetrical labia and pubic hair.
2. Learn. Educate yourself about vulvas. Learn how your entire body works, not focusing on only the outward appearance of the skin, but also the underlying parts: muscles, tendons, ligaments, and bones. Learning anatomy expands your awareness from “nit-picking” certain visible areas toward a broader understanding of the greater body and its functions.
3. Laugh. Read The Vagina Monologues, and you will laugh (and cry), and have a "context and community" of other vaginas. Another humor-strategy is to view art with possible “hidden” meanings. The most infamous paintings that have been speculated as vulvas being the subject matter are by Georgia O’Keeffe. She has negated any such symbolism, and has said, “they are just flowers”, but you may see resemblances of vulvas in her paintings: Black Iris (1926) and Jack in the Pulpit No. 6 (1930). Do you see the beauty in these paintings; the varied colors, asymmetrical shapes and sizes?
4. Question. Do not passively accept the negative messages you receive from well-meaning friends or from the media. Begin to question your own negative self-talk. You can reverse this mindset by purposefully stopping negative self talk, and mindfully replacing the thought with positive, reaffirming words.
5. Include. Include images of all women, of all ethnic and racial groups, age groups, sizes, abilities, sexual orientations. When we expose ourselves to the rich and varied experiences of all women, our narrow ideas about beauty and bodies often change. (Source: Our Bodies, Ourselves).
6. Notice. Explore the vast resources available to women, including EmpowHER, all created to provide education and support for women’s health: The Vagina Monologues by Eve Ensler, Our Bodies Ourselves reference book, Scarleteen's: Vagzilla! (Or, All Genitals Great and Small website for teens, and Introduction to Vulvovaginal Health from the National Vulvodynia Association (NVA).
7. Think. Think critically about media and its influences and messages. Are you bombarded with advertisements subtly (and not-so-subtlety) suggesting that to be attractive you should be shaved, waxed, tightened, tan, made-up? What impact do these messages have on us cumulatively; on your body image, and on your sexuality?
8. Discover. Ask your health care provider if you can view your own cervix and vaginal canal during a routine Pap smear. Seriously! You can also take care of your vulvar health, through annual doctor appointments and Vulvar Self Examination.
9. Advocate. Join a community group that supports women’s vulvar health, or start one of your own! A women’s group can disseminate information about gynecological issues, provide support and education, and create a wellness day similar to one group: Vulva Awareness Day through the Gynecological Awareness Information Network (GAIN).
10. Share. Teach and share with other women all of the information you have learned about vulvar health, positive body image, and how to move toward celebrating your body. I would love to hear your thoughts, feelings and experiences..especially if anyone accepts the challenge to view their own cervix during a medical exam!
“I don't see why we ever think of what others think of what we do – no matter who they are. Isn't it enough just to express yourself?”
~ Georgia O'Keeffe