It's not that fighting shouldn't occur, it has to, it's part of life, living with someone, and loving someone. However, one of the common notions of emotional disturbance is an unstable mood; that is to say, your mood fluctuates so regularly and frequently as to be disturbing to your life and to others around you.
While you may not be emotionally disturbed, you may be shocked to realize you can work even harder to stabilize your mood. In the name of stabilizing your relationship with your family, friends and loved ones, you might want to pursue this path. The more stable your mood, the more stable your relationships and, ultimately, your life will be.
So how do we go about this? Many articles have been written about the link between eating well, exercise, and mood stability. The truth is, piling sugar and processed foods into our systems will lead to a myriad of health problems, not the least of which are psychological health problems, including depression, valleys and peaks in outlook (almost a sense of being bipolar) and restlessness. By cleaning up our diet and doing regular exercise daily, we can begin to even out our psychological profile, experience less of a labile or constantly changing affect, and have a more mature, stable approach to our problems.
Road rage alone can make a car ride so uncomfortable for some people that if their significant other is prone to doing this, they will shut down emotionally when in the car, making car rides something to dread, and affecting everything in the relationship.
So here's an outline for smoothing out your mood and creating stability:
* Limit or eliminate processed foods. The spiking of mood and the subsequent let down creates a vicious cycle of happiness, mania, hyperactivity, aggression and depression/exhaustion.
* Limit or eliminate caffeinated beverages. Caffeine has a similar effect as sugar and white flour, bringing you up and letting you down.
* Get regular exercise. This doesn't have to mean that you work out until you are spent every day. A simple twenty or thirty minute walk will increase your blood flow, oxygenating your blood, increasing endorphins and serotonin levels, and will create a lasting effect of balance.
* Spend time in nature every day. Studies have shown that remaining connected to nature has a profound effect on peoples' moods, giving them much needed perspective, peace and a feeling of well-being and groundedness.
* Practice positive thinking. This is like a muscle; you are in control of your stress levels. When you feel the nail biting, edgy sense of stress coming upon you, practice deep breathing, calming down, stepping back, waiting, getting distance from whatever it is that seems so very urgent.
* Lighten up. Taking an attitude of lightheartedness and optimism can do wonders for improving and stabilizing your mood on a daily basis. Know that things really do move in cycles, that pain passes, and sometimes you just need to step out of the way of oncoming motorcades.
Putting these things into practice will not fix problems in your relationship, but they may help you to feel your emotions are not "all over the place" or ruling your decision making processes, allowing you time, energy and space to think, be and gently work through things in a more stable way.
Aimee Boyle lives and writes in CT. Check out her blog at http://www.straightandnarrow.yolasite.com. She is a regular contributor to EmpowHER.