Success at work and other areas of life doesn’t always go hand in hand with overall satisfaction in life. For example, a woman can be successful at her career and be satisfied with her performance there, but she might not feel satisfied overall with her life or with her relationships.
There are multiple life situations and factors to consider, so success and satisfaction can be hard to link. Another example is that a woman is successful at her career but is not satisfied with her career because of depression or because of her lack of interest in her career. Of course, there is also the woman who is successful in many areas of her life, including her career, and feels overall satisfaction or satisfaction in some areas.
Most people would agree that having overall success and satisfaction in life are desired outcomes, but it doesn’t always happen in the way it’s planned, and it might take a while to figure out how to be successful and satisfied at the same time. Also, success in one area (like careers) might not be as important as in another (like relationships), depending on the individual.
Steven Berglas, a psychologist who has written books on success and is currently an executive coach and management consultant, said in an e-mail that success is achievement.
“If you win a race, win a contest, or start a business that makes money, you have succeeded,” Berglas said. “There is no psychological component to success, save that it can enhance a part of your self-esteem.”
However, he said that satisfaction is purely psychological.
“For most humans [satisfaction] is a derivative of love — feeling it and receiving it,” Berglas said. “You can 'love' being productive, so it is often linked to achievement, but most people do not necessarily feel productive unless they impact others.”
According to Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary, satisfaction is “fulfillment of a need or want” and “a source or means of enjoyment.” Life satisfaction and happiness have been linked to better health, according to a study found in Science Daily.
Although they appear to be separate, at least in the U.S. they are always placed together. People are always trying to get advice on how to be more successful, with the mindset that after becoming successful happiness and satisfaction will follow.
Berglas said that in one of his books, “Reclaiming the Fire: How Successful People Can Overcome Burnout,” he wrote about many white collar criminals in the U.S., like one man who was worth millions and decided to engage in criminal behavior that didn’t earn him a significant amount of money.
“He wasn't fulfilled in life,” Berglas said. “Most super-rich folks aren't, which is why I wrote three books on why professional [and] material success not only fails to provide fulfillment in most instances, [but] it can [also] precipitate a number of psychological disorders, from acting-out in a criminal manner to alcoholism.”
He said that women respond to success in a different manner than men. Generally, men “kill competitors as they climb,” and this can lead to isolation and depression.
“Women do not suffer from success as men do because they use success to afford themselves, and others, with fulfillment,” Berglas said. “Women are natural care-givers and nurturers, so typically, when they succeed, they respond in a ‘rising tide lifts all ships’ manner: They help others.”
This leaves women with a network of friends, opposed to isolation.
“The only thing that blocks women from being both satisfied and successful is trying to be like men,” Berglas said. “Women who are natural and true to their inner self, can succeed joyously.”
There are even more differences in success, satisfaction and happiness for men and women. He said that women tend to be happier than men.
“When unhappy they acknowledge it, seek support for solving it, and make appropriate repairs,” Berglas said, while men are in denial when “coping with a lack of satisfaction.”
An example he gave is after a divorce, “women cry, call friends, and cope with pain,” while men handle the situation in an unhealthy manner by sleeping around or buying something expensive.
“Women like Jennifer Aniston who adopt this, ‘I'm sexy, strong and in control’… attitude are killing themselves,” Berglas said. “I truly feel for her, because the advice she is getting is 180 degrees from helpful. A woman's strength is her authenticity. Trying to act ‘manly’ is a prescription for pain.”
What do you think? Do women tend to retain a network of friends even when they’re successful, while men eliminate any competition? Are women trying to be more like men regarding success? How do success and satisfaction play a part in your life?
Sources:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080830161436.htm