Hi
I'm over 40, in a fairly new (5 month) relationship with a lovely guy. I'd say in all aspects of our relationship we are great, however, when it comes to sex we seem to be very different.
He's has been used to having oral sex frequently, and is unable to climax through penetrative sex, it's very important to him. He hates wearing condoms and prefers to give me oral sex rather than penetrative sex. I've never been that keen to give oral sex, have only been asked a couple of times before and so it wasn't a problem. Now though, I love this guy, want to settle down with him, but we have this major problem with sex.
I have tried to give him oral, on the few occasions I've gone there .. it's getting easier, but I don't like getting semen in my mouth or on my face. I've tried a couple of things, flavoured lube, he took that personally, and thought I didn't like the taste of him. I try licking and taking him into my mouth, but my stomach turns once any semen's produced and so I stop and use my fingers .. this stops the climax for him .. and not surprisingly, he's getting really frustrated about it... and I'm getting upset that I can't do it for him. He feels rejected and then he rejects me, and we both get upset.
I always think that sex is something to be enjoyed by both partners, so .. how do I handle this? Is it possible to get over my 'distaste' about oral sex? We have talked about this and it is a major issue, it's really important to him. He doesn't want me to do it all the time, but my default is not to do it at all .... I just don't know how to resolve this. I don't want to end the relationship, it's been the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time. I'm concerned that if I can't do this for him regularly that it's going to cause a major rift and as sex is a really important part of the relationship for both of us, I'm worried it will end because of this.
I hope you can help,
Thanks
K