Your health care agent or proxy is the person you choose to make important decisions for you if you are too sick to think clearly or if you are not able to communicate your wishes to your doctor and other medical staff. Your health care agent will have a serious responsibility for your care. It is very important that you choose someone who knows you well and who is willing to stand up for your wishes.
In order for your agent to carry out this responsibility, you need to talk to your agent to be sure he or she knows what you want to have done in a variety of medical situations. Here are some suggestions for things you should discuss:
• What decisions are indicated in your Living Will?
A living will is a document you create to specify the care you want to receive. Make sure your agent has a copy of your living will and that he or she understands what you mean by the choices you make in the document. As much as you can, help your agent understand what criteria would make it appropriate for him to stop medical treatment or to insist that treatment should continue.
• Who should be consulted in making your decisions?
If you have family members or close friends that you want to have included in the decision process, make sure your agent knows who they are. Also make sure your friends and family know who your agent is and that your agent has the final say in making the decision if the others don’t agree.
• How much help would you want if you are not able to take care of yourself?
Share with your agent what conditions would lead you to want to be moved into an assisted living facility. Let him know if there is a facility that you have already chosen as one you would like to live in if needed.
• Does your agent have permission to read your medical files?
If the answer is yes, make sure this permission is clearly noted in your living will.
• Are you willing to be relocated?
If you are not able to take care of yourself, does your agent have permission to move you to another state where you can get better care or be closer to family members?
• What is your pain tolerance?
Talk to your agent to know about pain medications, including how he can tell when to request more medication to control your pain and whether you would prefer to be “drugged” to sleep or to be awake and alert with some pain.
• Do you want to be an organ donor?
Make sure your agent knows which if any organs you are willing to donate.
• Can your agent access your financial records if needed to apply for insurance or other benefits?
You have the option to assign someone else to help with your finances if you prefer your agent to only deal with medical issues. If that is what you choose, be sure both agents know about each other.
The answers to most of these questions should be included in your living will. Be sure your agent has a copy and knows who to contact for help with legal and financial concerns. If at any point you change your mind about who should be your health care agent, you can revoke any permissions you have given or assign them to someone else. If you do this, be sure to have a similar conversation with your new agent and let your previous agent know he or she is no longer responsible.
When you ask someone to be your healthcare agent you give him or her a substantial responsibility that may be burdensome if you do not clearly communicate your wishes. Be sure to write down all specific requests so your wishes can be carried out and so your agent can be sure he is making decisions you would approve and is providing you the best possible care.
Sources:
Aging With Dignity: Five Wishes
American Bar Association