Ok, you’ve had your baby. All is well until your partner leans over and asks you when will you be able to have sex again. Now before you tell him what for, he’s got a good question. Just when is it safe to begin to have sexual intercourse again?
A Time to Heal
First of all, you will need to give your body time to heal. Many doctors recommend four to six weeks since this will allow time for the cervix to close, postpartum bleeding to stop and any tears or repaired lacerations to heal according to the Mayo Clinic.
But the physical aspect is just one point. A whole other important point is to ask yourself is, are you ready? While some women feel ready to have sex within a few weeks, some may take longer. It all depends on you and what’s going on with your body. If you are fatigued, suffering postpartum blues or experiencing other body changes, this will impact your attitude or readiness for sex.
Too Tired?
So let’s say a reasonable length of time has gone by and you still feel too tired for sex. Hey, taking care of a newborn can be exhausting. We all love our babies, but those little boogers need constant care as soon as their eyes open. So, why not let your partner know that you’re tired and why. Then plan for sex when your energy is high and the baby is asleep.
What if you’re not interested in sex?
According to Mayo Clinic, that’s OK. You can be intimate without having sex. What’s most important is to maintain the communication between you two. For example, spend time together, even if it’s just a few minutes while the baby sleeps. Call each other during the day. Look for ways to express affection which encourages a secure relationship. But what if your low mood is not lifting? Then you may need further medical help. Don’t be shy to let your doctor know as well as your partner.
How will it feel? Will it be painful?
That’s the questions many ask. Let’s take one at a time. After a vaginal delivery, the muscle tone is different. Many experience less friction which decreases arousal. But the good news is that usually this is only temporary. Most have heard of the Kegel exercises. This exercise pertains to the muscle you use when you stop your urine. Start holding those muscles for five seconds at four times in a row. Work up to keeping muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions. Do at least three sets of 10 Kegel exercises a day.
As far as the pain goes, hormonal changes may have made the vagina dry and tender. The Mayo Clinic recommends gradually building the intensity of stimulation or, in other words, foreplay. This is a natural way to combat vaginal dryness. If this method does not work, try using lubricating creams or gels. Don’t get in sexual positions that are painful, try to relax and communicate your feelings and needs to your partner. If sex continues to be painful, a low-dose estrogen cream prescribed by your doctor can be used to moisturize the vagina as well.
Source: Mayo Clinic
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