The following are some tips that will help you during a relocation period due to a divorce:
Budget With Your Keepsakes In Mind
Try to remember to not make these the last items packed since these items cannot be replaced. Have them packed well, insured and mailed before your move. You will enjoy having these items when nostalgia sets in while living in your new place. Nostalgia will come and you may want to reflect on your life and how much better you are doing now, what you miss about how things were before and why you needed a change.
All Important Companies Have Your Contact Information
Make sure you check with utility companies to ensure that electric, telephone, gas, cable will all be shut off and turned on again on your desired dates. Check to see that all banking and credit card information has been updated with a new address. Did you remember to discontinue magazine subscriptions or do a change of address? Visit the post office and notify them to forward your mail. Make sure you give all your family and friends all your new information.
Once you arrive in a new state keep in mind that you will probably have to change your driver’s license and vehicle registration to that state within a certain time period. You will also need to update vehicle insurance.
Meet with your relatives and friends before you relocate. Make contact with the ones you really care about who may be your daily support system. When holidays approach, send cards or invite relatives over. Making time for relatives and friends before you relocate creates memories, builds on your relationships and helps you mentally and physically cope with any unforeseen obstacles.
How To Find New Friends After Moving
Moving to a new community is both exciting and stressful, especially when leaving to a new town or moving to a new location in the same town that is away from established places and people. Family members tend to feel disconnected. It is important to find new friends to make you feel more at home. Once you have arrived in a new area it will be a big adjustment on many levels. Try not to let yourself get too overwhelmed by everything that you have to do. Remember that everything takes time and patience. You should try to have an open mind, learn about the norms and culture in the area as well as what people are accustomed to in this new area.
Here are some helpful suggestions for relocating to feel more connected:
Meet your neighbors- introduce yourself and talk about you and your family and ask them about theirs.
Pursue your interests, volunteer at organizations, sports, books clubs, and religious groups all can be great ways to meet new people and make new friends with similar interests.
Contact a newcomers club.
Join the local community center or YMCA. It can make it easier to meet people and make new friends at a yoga class or in the gym.
Take a class at a local community college to enhance your current skills or pursue a new interest. This can be a great way to meet people. Most communities also have numerous interest clubs or groups- ski clubs, theater groups, hiking clubs, dance groups, gourmet groups, professional groups, art groups as well as many others. Usually these groups will be listed in the local newspaper.
Many women find wonderful support networks in women’s groups that are available in most communities. Many women’s groups help individuals discover their own strengths and create a strong sense of solidarity and friendship.
Use the internet to search for local groups that fit your lifestyle. Some examples would be; mommy/daddy and me groups, networking organizations. By joining a mommy/daddy and me group you may find that the many playdates offered are an excellent way to meet new friends, develop a new peer group and even watch your children develop their own mini social group!
For your children:
If you have children set up playdates with people you have met and invite the parents to come. This will help develop friendships for everyone.
Register your child for a local sports team and for various activities such as gymnastics or karate classes. A team may provide a potential group of friends.
Go to places with your child such as museums, parks, and play areas in the mall. There will be other moms at these places with their children that you can get to know while the children play together.
Go to the library. Children love picking out new books and there is a good chance you will run into other moms at the library. Find out from your local library if they have programs such as storytime or educational programs. Your children can enjoy structured activities with other children while you meet and talk with other moms.
Don’t forget to be yourself! Have fun meeting new people and try to make this a fun and exciting time in your life.
But don’t forget your old friends! Make sure to keep in touch with them and nurture those relationships.
Remember to keep in mind that local cultures differ and personalities down south may be very different than personalities in the east or west.
One single, newly divorced, mother of one shared her feelings about divorce, moving on and relocation. “What I really felt like was excited to start something new as well as the sadness of leaving my friends. I still feel that way.”
When asked what she felt she did right in the relocation and what she would have done differently, she replied “I tried to do too much before I moved and I was physically and mentally exhausted. I didn’t delegate enough and tried to do everything by myself.
“I feel that I did a lot of things right such as making a very conscious decision to see and visit with as many friends before we left as we could. We threw a big party before we left. I researched the school system for my son before moving and visited Phoenix a few times to interview the schools as well as find a place to live. The one thing I am working on now is trying to get involved in some organizations and groups to help meet people."
Are women more hesitant than men to relocate? It is often expected that a woman will follow her partner if he needs to relocate for work; the same is not necessarily true for men. For many women, a major move many times means saying goodbye to relationships, a choice that men do not always have to make. This disparity may be partly due to the fact that there can be a wage gap, especially if there are children involved. Moving is always a difficult choice, and the difficulties of the choice should be shared equally in relationships, as currently they seem to fall disproportionately on women.
Remember to stay focused on your plans, don’t feel the need to defend your actions and stay positive!