On November 13, 2010, a mother who lives in the general area that I do discovered what has to be the most horrifying sight of her life—her 14-year-old daughter hanging from the ceiling of their basement. The teen was rushed to ICU, but eventually died of her injuries from the hanging. This girl was the daughter of Luke Richardson, assistant coach of the Ottawa Senators of the National Hockey League. The family decided to try to help lift the veil from the subject of teen suicide and in the weeks following the release of the story through local media, hundreds of students came forward for help. To lose a child to an accident is one thing, but to lose a child because she took her own life gives whole new meaning to the word agonizing.
The Unfortunate Truth
The Richardson family is not alone. Alarmingly, “suicide is the second leading cause of death among 15- to 24-year-olds, and fourth among those in the younger age group, according to Statistics Canada” (The Globe and Mail). Scary. While suicide is often the biggest indicator that a child may have mental health issues or an undiagnosed mental illness, it is not the only mental condition that can affect a child.
“About 20 percent of American children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness during a given year, according to the U.S. Surgeon General. Further, nearly 5 million American children and adolescents suffer from a serious mental illness (one that significantly interferes with their day-to-day life)” (www.webmd.com).
Such mental illnesses or conditions include:
• Anxiety disorders
• Disruptive behavior disorders
• Pervasive developmental disorders (eg: autism, Asperger's)
• Eating disorders
• Learning and communication disorders
• Affective (mood) disorders
• Schizophrenia
• Tic (repetitive movements or sounds) disorders (eg: Tourette syndrome)
Each of us can probably identify a time when we felt confused by the world around us, the people, the situations. Overwhelmed by what we saw and felt about what was happening around us. Imagine how that same world looks to a person whose mind isn’t able to process those same people or situations like a “normal” person would – how much more confusing and overwhelming can you imagine the world must be to them.
The Warning Signs
Each of the conditions that fall under these categories have their own set of symptoms or indicators that can help child and educational psychologists arrive at a diagnosis. But many symptoms are misinterpreted as attitude issues when, in fact, the issue is much deeper than not respecting authority and may have absolutely nothing to do with low intelligence. While six to 11 percent of children have diagnosable mental disorders, studies show that only one in five of those children are receiving treatment for their conditions. If a child/teen exhibits any of the following behaviors for two weeks or longer, or if they increase in severity, please seek professional help for them:
• Loss of interest in normal activities
• Change in sleep patterns
• Change in eating patterns
• Repetitive behaviors
• Change from cooperative to stubborn
• Unacceptable behavior in school
• Excessive anxiety
• Stealing, lying or breaking rules
• Tendency to confuse fantasy with reality (Canadian Mental Health Association).
For families left in the aftermath of teen suicide, the question always remains, “Were there any signs I missed?” Unfortunately, not every child displays the same signs. In the case of Daron Richardson (the girl I mentioned at the beginning), her friends and family all said the same thing – that she was a popular girl, a successful and talented hockey player with apparently no reason at all to kill herself. What struck me about this story was not that she killed herself, or even the devastation of her mother finding her, but why she did not talk to anybody about the despair she was feeling: a teacher, a pastor, friend, stranger? Why did she keep her helplessness and hopelessness to herself? Why did she feel like she had to carry this all alone? I think it’s up to all of us to remain open and available and sensitive to what may be happening in another person’s life. Sometimes a caring, kind word or smile can be the catalyst for giving someone hope and support.
In a couple of previous articles I looked at the effects of isolation – perceived or actual – on those with mental illness and conversely how those with mental conditions can become isolated. If you are reading this article and you are overwhelmed by what’s going on in your life and you are contemplating killing yourself, please talk to someone, anyone about it and keep talking about it until someone believes you. You do not have to carry this burden yourself.
If you truly do not have anyone to talk to, or feel like you have no one to talk to, try any one of these hotlines:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or 1-800-SUICIDE (734-2433)
Boys & Girls town National Hotline 1-800- 448-3000
Covenant House 800-999-9999
Teen Help 1-800-355-8336
Sources: Ottawa Sun (www.ottawasun.com); WebMD (www.webmd.com); Canadian Mental Health Association (www.cmha.ab.ca); The Globe and Mail (www.theglobeandmail.com)