Sexual abuse can be characterized by many different things. In Canada, the term sexual assault is used to cover a broad range of criminal sexual acts.
Sexual abuse can involve molestation, which is the touching of any body part with a sexual intent; innuendo or harassment either physical or verbal; or forced sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex (this can be with a human, an object or an animal).
Even reading these things may make many readers shiver and flip to something else. The purpose of me saying these things is not to disgust you, but to attempt to reach those one in three women reading this article who have experienced sexual abuse and offer EmpowHER.com’s resources to help you overcome the barriers resulting from such abuse.
Sexual abuse—though not exclusively from other forms of abuse—can strongly affect our relationships with members of the opposite sex and can dictate whether we live our lives as victims or as survivors. There is a vast difference!
The Statistics
The disturbing reality is that:
- In 1999, 35 percent of girls between grades 7 and 12 had been sexually abused, with 17-year-old girls reporting the highest rate of sexual abuse at 20 percent
- 95 percent of all child abusers are the father, foster father or stepfather or another relative or close family friend of the victim
- Incestuous relationships last an average of seven years
- 75 percent of mothers are not aware of the incest in the family
- “While children and youth under the age of 18 represent only one-fifth of the population (21%), they were victims in 61% of all sexual offences reported to police in 2002” (www.littlewarriors.ca)
- “In 2005, the rate of sexual assault against children and youth was over five times higher than for adults” (www.littlewarriors.ca – emphasis mine)
And the scary statistics continue. The truth is, many of those reading this article and visiting this site likely fall into these statistics. But while these numbers reflect sexual abuse against children, that doesn’t mean that sexual abuse and assaults don’t happen to adult women.
A New Direction
EmpowHER.com was started to provide women with a medical and by extension an emotional support resource for dealing with life’s issues; to reach women where they’re at. This means getting a little personal. Getting beyond disease descriptions and symptoms, and connecting at a heart level.
Women find comfort in sharing their experiences with people who have already been where they are. Women find comfort in giving comfort to those who may not have experienced these things before. Women can connect with women in a way that men simply cannot. That’s what the new Sexual Abuse Recovery chat group will offer for EmpowHER.com women a forum to find support and encouragement and to offer support and encouragement to one another.
Once a week a new article will be published regarding those of us who have experienced or are experiencing sexual abuse. Given the extremely sensitive nature of this topic, in the discussion group, only private group members can view the stories and comments, and sexual assault recovery professionals and resources will be available should issues arise that require more than the support of the group.
But one of the ways that sexual abuse imprisons victims is through silence. We hope this group will help facilitate the breaking of the silence and helping your hearts, minds and bodies heal.
My story
I do not have a good history with guys. I had a chance to re-examine this after my recent marital break up. I really have not had very many good boyfriend experiences. Oh, there have been a few—thank goodness—but not all of them. I guess I have that innocent and gullible personality—I don’t really know what it is—that makes guys think I’m easy to take advantage of. And while the “taking advantage of” didn’t go all the way, they still had a profound impact on my life.
My earlier “not so nice” experiences didn’t really affect me until I hit high school. Then a “nudey magazine” page stuck to a tree branch on a familiar, normally peaceful wooded path drove into me a fear so deep I never set foot in that forest again--and prior to this I had spent many, many hours there. What followed was a multi-year search to find out what was actually at the heart of this fear, and years of being terrified of dark corners and being left by myself in places that would normally be comforting.
But my experiences and fears didn’t leave when I graduated. They persisted through college and into my married life as well.
So the first questions for the Sexual Abuse Recovery group is: what is your story?