A common mistake that we moms make in our culture is to jump mindlessly from one activity to another. The problem is that we start to feel like we are on autopilot. We become detached from knowing what is most important to us, much less doing what really matters. Our weekends are no longer a safe haven but a continuation of the stress. It seems as though hours turn into days, which turn into months, and our chaotic life starts to pass us by.
To better understand where the hours go, it may be helpful to write everything down that you do for at least four days from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. Once you have tracked how your life energy is spent for four days, you may want to ask yourself some important questions:
What percentage of your energy is spent on attending to your personal needs, self-care, interests and real priorities? For many moms, this percentage is very low, which many times leads to burnout, depression, anxiety or other difficulties.
What is draining you?
What can you take out, if anything, in order to make space for what truly matters?
If you want to create a fulfilling life, you have to make time and space for these important things. In order to free up some time, you may want to consider doing the following:
Limit your children’s activities. Curtail the number of organized activities that your children are involved in. This may mean that each child may only participate in one or two activities each week. The number you choose may be dependent upon your child’s temperament, how many children that you have, the time each activity requires, and the total amount of energy that you want to devote to these activities. If the other children at school or on the block are doing three or four activities at a time, reconnect with yourself and your values and remind yourself that you and your children need time and space to live your best lives and that requires setting appropriate limits for yourself.
Learn not to sweat the small stuff. A slightly messy house or car is not the end of the world. Try to remind yourself that allowing some imperfections is necessary to free up energy for more meaningful matters.
Underschedule yourself. Figure out what you can get out of now and continue to say no to more obligations. Become a master mom at saying no. Once you have underscheduled yourself and live in alignment with your highest priorities, you can gradually add more activities if you have the space for them. As you underschedule and prioritize better, you will enjoy the sense of balance, because you have learned not to allow in more until you have let something else go.
For the most part, you do have control over how your life takes shape. It may be easy to delete some activities from your life and let go of the small stuff. But if you really want to enhance your life, you must make space for your priorities.
Source: Simpson, B. (2006). The Balanced Mom