I am a firm believer in the power of break-up sex. You may call me irrational or deluded, but read through my reasons for being a fan, and see if you don’t agree.
Disclaimer: Both partners should agree on the boundaries and implications of engaging in sexual activity before clothes come off. This will require explicit conversation and statements of expectations.
1. It feels great.
Let’s not beat around the bush--by getting intimate with someone who already knows exactly how to push your buttons, where you like to be touched, when to change the pace, etc., you are guaranteed a pleasurable experience. Likewise, you will feel confident in your own ability to arouse your partner, freeing inhibition and allowing you to perform with gusto. Add that mischievous, risky, “we-shouldn’t-be-doing-this” feeling and you can expect that the interlude will not leave either party wanting.
2. It can clear the air.
Seeing someone you are no longer in a relationship with will inevitably bring about awkward moments. It’s hard to know how to interact as “just friends” rather than whatever your previous status was. Often it feels easier to avoid talking about the elephant in the room, pretending that everything is normal and reverting to small talk. Sex alleviates the awkwardness of this tangle and allows you to move past pleasantries and into real topics of conversation. Which leads us to our next point…
3. It can promote healthy discussion.
It is much easier to renew an emotional connection and speak frankly after being physically intimate. A bad break-up cannot change science; after reaching an orgasm your body is awash with chemicals that enable you to open up and connect with another person. Endorphins, oxytocin and adrenaline may help you to take a different perspective of your situation and aspects of your relationship – what went wrong and what went right.
4. It allows for closure.
Were you wondering whether your ex had moved on or if feelings could be re-kindled? Were you wondering what you had ever seen in this person and whether you had any connection in the first place? Were you nostalgic for the great times you had together or embellishing memories about the great sex you used to have? Were you looking for confirmation that you made the right choice? No matter what you were hoping for – you have your answer!
After becoming intimate with this ex-partner, you are still a fabulous, smart, beautiful, empowered, desirable woman with options – and one more orgasm under your belt. Like so many aspects of relationships, break-up sex is all about attitude. Enjoy it and move on to see what the rest of the world has in store!
Agree? Disagree? Let me know!