Here are some tips that I want to pass along about fashion since I am still living free and still going through menopause. It has been touch and go at times. My inner voice says the most bizarre things but I know it is the menopausal estrogen deprived voice and I do not listen to it. I won’t even say that I would kill for a little estrogen. I know it is only the menopause talking.
1. Wear layers that you can peel off. This means a tank top or T-shirt, preferably wicking as your first layer. Second layer is a sweater or blazer or blouse. Do not peel off past the first layer!
2. Do not wear a crop top, belly shirt, tube top, a sheer blouse, or a sheer blouse over a tube top, or just your bra no matter how hot you are and think you can pull it off. You can not. Are you listening Trudie Styler?
3. Wear slacks with-out stockings. Loose fitting slacks or skirts that are not lined. Wear a skirt with-out stockings, tights or leggings unless it is winter and you are outside.
4. Do not wear a mini skirt (with-out tights or leggings) a kilt, a short dress or short shorts. Even if you think you have Rockette legs it is the menopause evil inner voice talking, do not listen. Remember do not forgo the panties.
5. Wear open toe shoes or peek-a-boo toes with-out stockings or socks for extra ventilation, year round. It may get chilly and damp but it will keep you cool so who cares.
6. Don’t wear hats. Hats keep in the heat, great in the winter but not for those having personal summers.
7. Wear your hair pulled up at the neckline. If you wear a short hairstyle keep it light at the nape of neck. If you wear a bob keep it over the nape of the neck. These precautions are for the sweaty neck and look of wet hair. No one wants to hear the question, “Did you just come from the showers?”
8. Do not wear Spanx or any other control foundation unless you are going to a party. Be sure to put on your make-up after you put on the Spanx. Plan on not going to the bathroom during the party because then you will have to yank them up and it will put you into a flash and there goes the make-up and hairdo!
9. Wear bright polish on your fingers and toes. They are the only things that won’t sweat off during a flash. All make-up must be water resistant and extra long lasting. This doesn’t mean that you won’t have to re-apply foundation, eye liner, eye-shadow, mascara, blush, and lipstick, only that it may not end up running all the way down your face after a few flashes.
10. Clean and put away your turtle necks, mock turtle necks and long woolen sleeved sweaters for a few years as you experience the long hot summers of year round menopause. Keep an extra top, bra, panties and slacks in your car, office, or briefcase, just in case these tips do not work-out.
If you follow my tips and do not listen to the evil menopause inner voice regarding fashion you will be safe from jail and life as a felon. No one will arrest you for indecent exposure. You won’t humiliate your children or spouse or co-workers with a fashion faux pas. More importantly you will not humiliate yourself!