With the U.S. women’s Olympic gymnastics team seizing a gold medal for the first time since 1996, thousands of little girls will undoubtedly be begging their parents to sign up for gymnastics.
And while some parents jump at the chance to raise the next Olympic gold medalist, others are concerned about the effect highly demanding sports such as wrestling, figure skating, and gymnastics might have on their children.
These sports have higher than average rates of eating disorders and injuries, and books like Joan Ryan’s “Little Girls in Pretty Boxes” indicate that the practices of some coaches and gyms border on child abuse.
But not all Olympic athletes experience health problems, and there are wonderful coaches available. It is possible to enroll a child in a demanding sport without placing her health and self-esteem in danger.
Here’s what parents can do to ensure that children benefit, rather than suffer from, sports:
Be Involved—But Not Too Involved
Parents who know what’s going on in their child’s gym and practice sessions are better equipped to intervene if something is amiss. Keep in touch with your child’s coach, and ask your child about any problems at practice.
If something feels off, it’s time to switch training regimens. But don’t go too far with the involvement.
Parents who begin to live vicariously through their children — who attend every practice session and have more corrections and thoughts on each performance than the coach — place an inordinate amount of pressure on their children that can cause lasting psychological harm.
Prioritize Health Over Appearance
Athletes involved in some sports have long felt pressure to conform to beauty ideals, particularly thinness. Parents should not tolerate pressure from coaches to lose weight and should never allow coaches to berate children for their weight or physical appearance.
Athletes need strength to compete well, and strength means eating healthy. Parents should help their children make healthy food choices and should never factor weight into these decisions, even if this means children gain a few pounds.
Keep a Balanced Perspective
While it may be necessary for your child to spend hours at the gym every day if she wants to become a top athlete, if she abandons all other areas of her life you must intervene.
Emotional intelligence, for example, is a significant predictor of future success. If your child doesn’t go to school or has no friends, she’s much more likely to struggle as an adult.
Similarly, kids need down time — to play, read, watch movies, and act like kids — and if your child’s schedule is so rigorous that she has nothing going on outside of her chosen sport, she may end up suffering well into adulthood.
Give Your Child Choices
Some children stay in a sport long after they’ve had their fill because they feel pressure from their parents. You should make it clear that you love and are proud of your child for a variety of reasons, not just for her sports participation.
This also means giving your child the option to quit, to change sports, or to prioritize other things in her life over sports participation, no matter how good she is at her chosen sport.
Being good at a sport is insufficient reason to stay in something that doesn’t make your child happy, and forcing your child to remain in a sport she doesn’t like may cause serious problems both for your child and your relationship with her.
Sources:
Ryan, J. (2000). Little girls in pretty boxes: The making and breaking of elite gymnasts and figure skaters. New York, NY: Warner Books.
Edited by Jody Smith