[View the story "What You Need to Know About Codependency" on Storify ]What You Need to Know About Codependency Codependency in a relationship can lead to dangerous mental and physical health issues. Do you know how to spot codependency signs? Do you know if you're in a codependent relationship? Melody Wilding joined us to talk about everything you need to know about codependent relationships. Storified by #HERchat · Fri, Apr 24 2015 20:00:19
Codependent behavior can be associated with any type of relationship whether it's work-life or personal-life. Understanding how codependent relationships work is a great way to recognize when you or someone you know is in one.
A1: My definition: An addiction to fixing people. Impacts everyone they come into contact w/. #herchatThe Focus On You
RT @MelodyWilding A1. Codependency describes a dysfunctional relationship where one partner is essentially "addicted" to another. #HERchatKate Wotanowicz
And #codependency can happen simultaneously with other "vices" such as drugs, alcohol, gambling #HERchatWomen In colour
A1. Codependent relationships are one-sided, emotionally destructive and can be abusive #HERchatMelody Wilding
A1: An emotional and behavioral condition affecting a person's ability to have a healthy relationship #HERchat @EmpowHERHilton Head Health
A1. Codependent relationships are dangerous! #Addictive behavior is never a good thing. #herchatEmpowHER
A1. Codependency doesnt discriminate. It can affect any gender, age. You can be codependent on a child, co-worker, spouse #HERchatMelody Wilding
A1. Codependents lack a healthy sense of self worth. They put others needs first. Their lives revolve around other people's needs. #HERchatMelody Wilding
How can you know if you're in a codependent relationship? Looking for some of these red flags!
A2. If you play people pleaser, rescuer, or caregiver role in family & relationships - that can be major red flags of codependency #herchatMelody Wilding
A2: If u always say yes but mean no, u feel used, taken advantage of, u put ur schedule last b4 every 1 else's, #HERchatThe Focus On You
A2. Feeling shame about the relationship but staying silent, feeling like youre never good enough = other red flags #HERchatMelody Wilding
A2 the relationship is unilateral #HERchatTina Klaus
A2: If u treat people like "projects", feeling like you attract needy/broken people. #HERchatThe Focus On You
Codependent behaviors can often lead to more serious health issues. Common illnesses that can start to creep up include anxiety, stress and other mental illnesses.
A3. Somatic symptoms, emotional pain becoming physical like back pain also common with dysfunctional relationships #HERchatMelody Wilding
A3: Substance abuse, other mental illness and maybe even domestic violence! #HERchatWomen In colour
A3 being in a codependent relationship can lead to stress & anxiety #herchatKate Wotanowicz
A3 Definitely depression is major. Loss of self identity, detachment #HERchatDr. Gia Sison
A3. Crying or excessive sadness "out of nowhere" #HERchatMelody Wilding
A3 eating disorder #HERchatTina Klaus
A3 I have heard of instances where it leads to suicide and severe self-harm #codependency #HERchatWomen In colour
Addiction is just the beginning of other dangerous habits. Life experiences tend to lead people toward certain types of relationships. In this case, experience around addictions and sexual violence can lead someone to codependency.
A4. It often begins in childhood, codependents may grow up in family with addiction & learn pattern of suppressing their needs #HERchatMelody Wilding
A4: if you can't get ur fix or drink then helping others may meet their needs. Plus they may feel they "owe" everyone. #HERchatThe Focus On You
A4 you stop having needs and wants and in this suppression another's voice is more powerful and right #HERchatTina Klaus
A4. Addiction means dependent on a substance. Codependency is a parallel addiction to relationships. #HERchatMelody Wilding
There are many things one can do to free themselves from codependency. Like any other addiction, the first step is to recognize the problem and accept it. That is the first real move toward gaining your freedom back.
A5. Freeing yourself from codependency involves a recovery process. #HERchatMelody Wilding
A5. Here are the top 5 ways to become emotionally independent! http://t.co/jdKvNgUqIu #HERchatEmpowHER
A5. Codependency is sneaky. Emotional manipulation is so ingrained the first step is often awareness of the cycle #HERchatMelody Wilding
A5. One of the biggest barriers to overcome in recovery is denial that theres a problem. #HERchatMelody Wilding
Solutions: setting strong boundaries, CoDa meetings, great books on the topic #HERchatThe Focus On You
Codependency doesn't only affect your direct relationship, but it can also start affecting other areas of your life.
Q6 social life, livelihood (work & career), isolation from family/friends #HERchatWomen In colour
A6. It can cause withdrawal, isolation from friends & outside activities. Your life revolves around the addiction #HERchatMelody Wilding
A professional is best at first. Someone w/ strong boundaries can be a great teacher/guide #HERchatThe Focus On You
A6. Some may overfunction (overly control) while others underfunction (slack responsibility, emotionally withdraw) as result #HERchatMelody Wilding
Ultimately, positive changes in your behavior will be the key to freeing yourself from codependency. Setting boundaries, loving yourself, and remembering to put yourself and your needs first are just a few ways of getting that freedom.
A7. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. Define your preferences & stick to your bottom lines #HERchatMelody Wilding
A7. Start loving yourself! The more you love who you are, the less you need it from others. #HERchatEmpowHER
a7 Try to surround yourself with people that value you #herchatKate Wotanowicz
@EmpowHER A7) Constantly remind yourself that it's healthy to accept help from others! Lean on counselors, friends, family! #HERchatBikram Yoga Agoura
A7: assess your needs, decide on the life u want 4 yourself. Honor your needs, ignore the guilt. YOU ARE A PRIORITY. YOU MATTER #HERchatThe Focus On You
A7. Reclaim your "I". Many codependents dont ever stop and ask what THEY WANT out of a relationship. Define that #HERchatMelody Wilding
When you have a friend in a codependent relationship, it can be easy to judge and feel helpless for them. However, it's always best to come from a place of support.
A8: point out rescuing behavior, help keep them accountable. Join them in fun activities! #herchatThe Focus On You
A8 my approach has been to always provide options rather than definitive solutions. Empowering someone is most effective #HERchatWomen In colour
A8 speak from a place of personal experience to help someone struggling in codependent relationship #HERchatTina Klaus
Codependency may be more prevalent than you think. Spreading knowledge and awareness is the first step in helping someone who may be dealing with this issue. Speak up and spread the word about the signs of codependency. Learn more:
Don't Ignore These 12 Signs of Codependency In Your ...Have you ever found yourself in a one-sided relationship where you felt as if you were the one doing all the giving, all the caring, while receiving nothing in return? If this dynamic sounds familiar, it's likely you're trapped in the web of codependency, a pattern of behavior where your self-worth and identity hinges on the approval of another person.
