I'm 25, my fiancé and I have been together almost three years, and I am so not interested in sex.
When we first started dating, we were all over each other and had sex everyday and more. Then I had to stop using nuvaring about a year and a half ago because I couldn't afford it anymore and I don't have insurance. My sex drive tanked, and it really has never come back.
I love my fiancé dearly, and I want to be physically intimate with him, but I'm always worried he's going to initiate because I just don't feel it anymore. I'm still attracted to him, but the thought of sex is kind of a chore. Most of the time, I'm just waiting for it to be over, or I have a physical response (usually to the point of orgasm) but I just don't enjoy it. I think I'm bored with our sex life, but I also have no desire to experiment, as I enjoy a large variety of kinks, and his idea of dirty kinky sex is anal, which I also don't enjoy because of his size (it's just always uncomfortable). I don't know how to talk to him about it and I'm terrible at expressing my sexual desires, especially when it involves me saying no or asking him for something I know he doesn't enjoy doing. He always asks me what I want during sex and I just draw a complete blank and can't think of ANYTHING or he say he wants to do something and I won't want him to, but I can't say no so I just don't say anything (at least if I don't explicitly agree to something during sex, he won't do it, even if he wants to).
I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no problem feeling horny or taking care of myself when I'm alone, but as soon as it involves him, my libido tanks. Help!