Somewhere in our forties, we begin to recognize what we care about, who we like, how hard we’re willing to try to make and keep friends. We develop our own ideas as to how we plan to grow older — gracefully or otherwise.
1) Wear neutral, classic colors. Or wear whatever the hell you want.
By now we know how how to dress. Declutter your closet of everything you don’t love, or that doesn’t fit, and relax into your own established style. My elegant friend Maria, still gorgeous at 82, offers great beauty and fashion advice in this EmpowHer article.
Watch the documentary, “Advanced Style,” available on Netflix, to see older ladies who dress to kill.
2) A little nip-tuck?
Participants in a 2013 study by Dr. Joshua Zimm rated facelift patients as appearing an average of only three years younger than their actual age. Experts in the beauty field know that plastic surgery makes you look better, not younger.
Let the innumerable celebrities known more for their plastic surgery than for their careers serve as a cautionary tale. Realistic expectations and clear communication with your plastic surgeon are critical.
3) Walk — and not just for exercise and Vitamin D.
Walk to the grocery store, in the park, at the mall, down Main Street. Use walking as an opportunity to school teenagers in proper manners, to flirt with strangers, and to dish out unsolicited parenting advice to young mothers.
Once, as a young mom pushing a baby stroller through the neighborhood, I was stopped by the neighborhood matriarch, Regis. “Put some socks on that baby!” she said. “His feet are cold.” You know what? They probably were.
Those Internet lists — 10 Perfectly Normal Things to Never Say to Oversensitive People, and the like — they don’t apply to women of a certain age. The older women in my life say what they’re thinking. I know where I stand.
When I leave the house, something always happens — a bird on a wire, the twinkle of a spider web that wasn’t there yesterday, somebody teaches me something. After the interaction with Regis 18 years ago, I started putting socks on my baby.
4) Act as young as you feel, but don’t be delusional.
In my early forties, after a hysterectomy, I mentioned vaginal dryness to a female acquaintance in the medical field, who was probably 10 years younger than I was. I mentioned wanting a prescription for Vagifem. “Well,” she said smugly, “I prefer a natural approach to aging and its changes.” Read: delusional.
As we cross from our thirties into our forties, change is inevitable. Body parts never before noticed begin to hurt. Skin changes. Expect and acknowledge your body at 60 is not what it was at 20. Lisa Jey Davis states it plainly in “Getting Over Your Ovaries: How to Make 'The Change of Life' Your Bitch.”
“You can do this (this thing, where your body will cease to produce hormones and your skin, hair, muscles and bones ... basically every part of you will notice, go into withdrawals, and stage a coup). Be prepared for this mentally, and you'll own this 'thing’.”
Sex after a certain age is like sandpaper on a ripe peach, natural enough but not falling within the realm of pleasure. If you observe changes in vision, strength, memory or S-E-X, talk to your doctor.
5) Protect against falls.
We don’t think we’re susceptible to falls, but as we age our chances for incurring a fall increase. Unintentional falls are the leading cause of fatal and non-fatal injuries in seniors. In 2013, 2.5 million older adults visited emergency rooms for falls.
Exercise is critical to preventing falls, especially exercise that focuses on lower body muscles and balance. Fall-proof your home. Secure rugs and electrical cords, and discuss any dizziness you may be experiencing with your doctor.
6) Exercise, but have a sedentary backup plan.
My sex-bomb of a 67-year-old friend, Joan, plays tennis, golfs and works out several times a week. I asked her once, “Shouldn’t you have some hobbies for when you slow down?”
“I don’t plan on slowing down,” she answered.
But while fit, active seniors like Joan don’t plan on slowing down, still, an illness or injury may strike, requiring a little down time. Cultivate a few sedentary hobbies: Mah Jongg, knitting, reading, Sudoku or day trading so you keep your sanity while healing your body.
7) You’ve earned your wisdom. Now share the wealth.
Introduce your grandchildren to the magic of receiving a letter by post by initiating a correspondence. Brighten the world with daily thank you notes. Volunteer.
Consider joining Elder Circle, a group of elderly volunteers age 60 - 105 who dispense wisdom to younger generations online.
What do you consider essential to aging gracefully? Let me know in the comments below.
Sources:
Older Adult Falls: Get the Facts. CDC.gov. Retrieved September 16, 2015.
http://www.cdc.gov/homeandrecreationalsafety/falls/adultfalls.html
The Limits of Cosmetic Surgery. well.blog.nytimes.com. Retrieved September 17, 2015.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/01/the-limits-of-cosmetic-surgery
Reviewed September 18, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith