An affair doesn’t have to include sexual relations. An emotional affair is an involvement of the heart where you share emotional secrets, sometimes including intimate secrets about your significant other and your relationship with that person.
In an affair of the heart, you are emotionally invested in someone who is not your partner or spouse.
In an article on Psychcentral.com, sex and relationship expert Tammy Nelson said, "Emotional affairs are very real things. In fact, over half of all emotional affairs start out innocently as online friendships. More than 70 percent of those friendships or flirtations will end up as real time affairs."
You can easily disguise an emotional affair as a friendship. But, you are only fooling yourself and you are breaking the bond of trust with the person you are committed, if you commit an emotional affair.
Are you having an emotional affair? Have you been fooling yourself about it?
Here are some possible signs that what you're involved in is an emotional affair:
• You don't tell your significant other about conversations and meetings that you have with this person.
• You have private time with someone other than your partner.
• You share information with someone else besides your partner and hide this from your partner.
• Do you spruce yourself up to see someone besides your significant other?
• You would feel guilty if your partner saw you with this person?
• You text this person more than you do your significant other.
• You thinking about this person first thing in the morning.
• You blow off your family for this person.
• You share good news with this person first.
• You fantasize about this person.
If you are in an emotional affair, the best thing to do is end it. You don’t have to ghost the individual, but redirect and rededicate yourself to your partner if you want to save the relationship.
People may be addicted to the excitement and attraction of an emotional affair. It is new, and you don’t have any of those old feelings of anger like you might have with a partner.
While emotional affairs seem innocent at first, they could easily evolve into a sexual relationship. The betrayal of an affair causes destruction to relationships and families.
Remember that you are more vulnerable to an emotional affair if you are dissatisfied with the state of your relationship.
There are certain things you can do to avoid an emotional affair. These include:
• No flirting.
• Avoiding high-risk places like Internet chat rooms, and being overly friendly at work.
• Evaluating the state of your current relationship, Should you seek counseling?
• Avoiding any type of reconnection with an old love.
• Avoiding other people who cheat on their partners.
If your partner finds out you are having an emotional affair, it may take months, and even years, to rebuild the trust.
Reviewed February 18, 2016
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith