The word caregiving seems to say it all, indicating altruism, selflessness and maybe a lack of reciprocity. After all, it’s not called caregetting.
The National Alliance For Caregiving estimates that 43.5 million American adults have provided unpaid care to a adult or child in 2015. Many of these caregivers report emotional and financial strain.(1)
I have seen amazing people do this job with smiles on their faces. I have seen them give from a part of themselves that is so deep that it inspired me to do better and be better.
I have also seen that everyone has a limit.
When you are in the profession of full-time care for someone who is ill or disabled, often the first thing to go is self-care practices. Exhaustion sets in. Frustration sets in.
But you’re not allowed to feel these things a caregiver. Right?
Wrong.
You are a human being first. You are a caregiver second. The business of caring can make the first point too easy to forget.
Hospice and family care physician Dr. Karen M. Wyatt wrote, “many of us who are drawn to become caregivers are very good at taking care of others and not so good at caring for ourselves. We have learned that it feels good to give and we excel at it, deriving satisfaction and meaning from our own acts of love toward other people.”(2)
Here are four suggestions to help you keep your health as a priority if you are a caregiver, while you accomplish the many tasks that you need to on a given day.
I do understand that not everyone has the time to go to an exercise class. However, when I learned how to do Thai massage, my teacher informed us that we must always feel good in our bodies when we are working on others. The quality of the massage would be affected (and obviously the quality of my future body).
Consider this principle as you are lifting things throughout the day. Try not to rush. Take your time to align your body and move from your core. If it is not an appropriate movement for your body, there is no harm in asking for help.
As you get weighed down with responsibilities, it can be easy to sit in a slumped manner. A small study forced good posture with physio tape and found that an upright seated posture in the face of stress can maintain self-esteem, reduce negativity and increase a positive mood.
This reinforces a resilience to stress that you can incorporate into your day with self-checks and proper support, to make sure that your emotional health is well-taken care of. (3)
We all know that exercise is good for us, but it is also a way to powerfully lift your mood and energy levels. Some exercise is better than none and, given doctor’s approval, it might be good for the person you are taking care of as well. (4)
Whether you are a caregiver or not, this is tough to do. There are always reasons why you can’t. There is one more dish to do or a load of laundry. However, your mind needs a rest. You need some space. Whether you meditate formally to make the space bearable or just give yourself a moment to lie on the floor, please look at “you” time as a healthy habit, rather than a luxurious one.
If you are responsible for others, the oxygen mask on a plane must be put on yourself first. This principle applies in many areas of life, dealing with people, resources and self-care techniques. You can — you need to — be both a caregiver and a caregetter.
Reviewed November 17, 2016
by Michele Blacksberg RN
Edited by Jody Smith